Walk Away
by ninadobsession
Summary: When the love of Elena's life goes missing, she's left with regret, major decisions, and a mystery that she's afraid she'll never solve.  AU/AH
1. Chapter 1: Just Breathe

**Hey guys! I'm incredibly excited to be starting this new story that, honestly, I think/hope will be very different from my first. I came up with the premise for this a few weeks ago and have been itching to start it. I apologize for the delay of posting this as my internet shut down last night for some unknown reason but I had to make sure I got it to y'all today :) **

**This story will be REALLY AU/AH. All human, no supernatural, etc. I'm also trying to be a bit more risque and actually make this story M unlike S&S which stuck to its more conventional 1864 ways. **

**Now, I'm giving myself a rule that I'm not going to continue this story if people don't like it. I have way too much stuff to do (with it being the end of my senior year) and I can't sit around and write a story that nobody cares about. So please please please I need reviews and feedback even if it's negative. I can work with negative. I can't work with nothing. But I don't have many doubts that this will happen because of my fabulous and loyal readers. Seriously, I adore every inch of your beings.**

**Please subscribe to my alerts if you like this story as well. For those of you that are waiting for the final chapter of S&S, that will be up soon I promise. I'm just _dying_ to get this one** **uploaded.**

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><p>Chapter 1: Just Breathe<p>

_Yes, I understand that every life must end,_

_As we sit alone, I know someday we must go,_

_Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands the ones I love_

_Some folks just have one, yeah, others, they've got none_

"Elena!" Elena Gilbert whipped her head around towards the girl spastically running towards her. Guys left and right watched her wind-tangled blonde hair soar past them. With Caroline, it was hard to tell whether guys were watching her because of her strikingly good looks or her wild energy. When she finally reached Elena, she was panting from the exertion.

"Hey, you cannot just leave me behind when psycho Dr. Salfredga decides he wants to have a thirty minute discussion about the plants he's growing in his apartment," Caroline wheezed out.

"You know I typically wouldn't… what in the hell are you putting in your hair?" Elena stopped noticing her friend trying to tame her tresses with a floral head wrap. In fact, Elena had "noticed" the entire ensemble when Caroline had entered class a few hours ago but she typically didn't comment.

"Steve likes the whole bohemian thing." Caroline self-consciously smoothed out the floral tank top and brown maxi skirt she was wearing underneath a huge tan trench coat.

"_Steve_? Are you dating a goddamn forty year old?" Elena asked bewildered. Her friend was starting to look like an _eighty_ year old with the gaudy costume jewelry and suede flats. Caroline typically dressed in the preferred style of her latest boy toy. Amusing to watch, dangerous to Caroline's wallet.

"Shut up, his full name's Steven, but I've got too much to do to waste time saying his whole name." Elena laughed. No matter what her friend's absurdities, she was just happy to be along for the ride.

"Well, I'm terribly sorry I left you in there with him, but you know I have _plans_," Elena smirked, thinking about her engagement that evening.

"Oh yes, of course, how could I forget? Elena's got a date with Mr. Perfect." Caroline's dramatic gestures earned her a hard slap in the arm from Elena.

"He's not… perfect, Care." Elena smiled as she said it, her mind reflecting on some particularly faultless moments from the past weekend.

"Oh stop, you can't keep the fucking smile off your face for more than five seconds, Elz. Just admit it: you're in love. Everything's flawless and fabulous in your perfect little world."

"Well, I might just do that tonight," she winked and began to walk away but felt a yank on her shoulder only a few moments later.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I heard you right. Elena Gilbert, the girl who has never said 'I love you' to _any man_ is going to tell her boyfriend tonight, after_ eight months_, that she loves him."

Elena smacked her again. "Yes, thank you very much. I think tonight's… right."

"Jesus Christ, Elena. I'm fairly sure you have found the one."

Elena smiled and, after exchanging goodbyes and a promise to have a study session soon at their favorite coffee place or they'd "no longer be friends, bitch", she was off towards her small apartment across town.

_Stay with me..._

_Let's just breathe..._

"Ula!" Elena called out, dropping her brightly colored bag and candy colored blazer onto the couch and her mail on the kitchen counter. She grabbed the large container of cat food from one of the cabinets and began to pour it into the pink ceramic bowl on the floor designated for the cat that was now hobbling its way into the room. Yes, she'd adopted a three-legged cat. Naming her Ula, after a small village she'd visited while traveling in Europe, seemed an apt name for a sweetheart like her.

After flipping through an absurd amount of junk mail and kicking her casual tan boots off, she went into her room and surveyed her closet. She contemplated getting dressed up for the occasion but decided against it, remembering a recent comment he'd made when he declared her "twenty times hotter" dressed down than up. Typically, she would have disregarded such an obvious remark, but when it came to her boyfriend, she knew she could trust him. His remarkable ability to always tell the truth, no matter how many times he was forced to go back his own apartment afterwards, was one of the things she liked most about him.

She settled on staying in her neutral colored chunky sweater and distressed jeans, but added the glittery heart-shaped stud earrings he'd bought her to add a bit of spark to her ensemble. She cursed, checking the time. Of course, she was running late. She always was.

She headed to the kitchen and began to speed up the cooking process. She was making his favorite dish, fettuccine alfredo, mostly because that was the only thing she could cook decently. As she watched the water boil, she decided the deafening silence was too much for her. She sat down on the couch and pressed the remote that controlled the set of iPod speakers in the corner of the living room. She rummaged through her purse to grab her phone and typed out a text.

_Can't wait to see you tonight. I couldn't get your sexy ass off my mind all day. ;)._

She smiled with near giddiness, imagining his reply to her flirty message. Ula jumped up next to Elena on the couch, and rubbed herself against Elena's sweater. She smirked at the attention hungry cat and patted its soft fur before getting up to continue the meal.

_Practiced all my sins, never gonna let me win,_

_Under everything, just another human being,_

_I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world to make me bleed_

The food was done. The table was set. The playlist on the iPod was quickly running out of songs. Ula was fast asleep on the couch, her small chest slowly rising and falling. Elena was sitting criss cross on the carpeted floor, attempting to go through some flash cards but failing thanks to her uncontrollable desire to check her phone every minute or so. Every time she was convinced she'd missed the ping of a text. Phones were always unreliable. In fact, to curb her frustrations, she'd determined that his phone had simply died and he was running behind. But 92 minutes (she'd been counting) was extreme. Especially for a guy who was known to be almost annoyingly punctual.

To add to the misfortune of the evening, the neighbors had decided to start their near nightly sex that was so loud she could barely stand it. Elena figured out the downside to her cheaply priced apartment early on in the arrangement.

"_There it is!" She whispered. She and Damon had been sitting on the couch, intently watching a House Hunters episode. Well, Elena had been intently watching. Damon, on the other hand, was attempting to head in the direction their neighbors were._

"_Oh my god, you weren't fucking kidding," He laughed and then turned to look at Elena mischievously. "Have you ever met them?"_

"_No, interestingly enough. Why?"_

"_They probably look like the most unsuspecting people. It's probably like a librarian and a… what's an equally reserved job for a guy?_

_Elena pondered it for a moment. "A mathematician."_

"_Yes! A mathematics professor at the university was in the library one day, attempting to look for a book on quantum something or other and then he stumbled upon an unassuming beauty in the stacks. He approached her and instantly realized he wanted to tear off that unflattering grey wool skirt and rip out her severe bun and…"_

"_God, stop it. I don't want that image to go any further." She paused for a moment and made a gagging noise. "Shit, too late."_

"_Prude." He smirked. "We should knock on their door-"_

"_No way! I'm not calling them out on… that." Elena blushed._

_Damon laughed. "Well, I was going to say we should knock on the door and ask if we could join 'em." Elena hit his arm as he chuckled. "But, now that you mention it, they are ridiculously loud. And they do this every night?"_

"_Not every night, but most, yes."_

"_That's the kind of shit you report to the landlord."_

"_No! That's even more embarrassing. Besides, the landlord's a pervy old man. I'm fairly sure I've never gotten through a conversation with him without needing to take a shower afterwards."_

_They attempted to simply turn up the volume on the TV, but it was like the neighbors were playing a game of "who could be the loudest?"_

_Damon seemed to pick up on it. He turned to look at Elena for a quick moment before suddenly letting out a loud groan. Elena's jaw dropped. "What the hell are you doing?"_

"_Now, Elena, you know there's no way I'm going to let them beat us. This way, you can keep watching your show, and I can have some fun." Elena gasped as he let out a long moan._

"_Oh my god, I'm dating a fucking 12 year old." Elena's face grew even redder as Damon's moans and groans began to turn into "Yes, right there's" and "Don't stop's." "Damon, seriously, stop it!" But his antagonizing was working. The couple next door was playing along, increasing their sounds to match Damon's._

_Elena's embarrassment began to turn into hysterical laughter as Damon's face was nearly turning red in his attempt to out moan the couple next door. All of a sudden, Elena realized something and gasped. She rapidly began hitting her boyfriend._

"_Damon! They're watching porn!" He looked at her confused. "You've spent the past ten minutes trying to groan louder than a porn star." Her laughter grew even louder looking at Damon's face, now red from humiliation. _

"_Wait, how do you know that's not them?" He asked, trying to defend himself._

"_Because I know how she sounds when she..." Elena paused and her cheeks inflamed._

_Damon laughed at her inability to say the word. "I think I'm the one dating a fucking 12 year old." He leaned over and kissed her hard on the mouth._

Elena tried to get through a few more flash cards but realized how tired she was. She pushed herself up off the floor and headed into the kitchen. It was spotless, as she'd already cleaned everything she'd cooked with to pass the time. She started a pot of coffee (incredibly strong because of her unnatural tolerance level) and walked back to plop down on the floor next to her books. She flattened herself down so that her entire body was parallel to the horrible carpeting. She stared up at the popcorn ceiling, repeating a few of the charts from the flashcards in her head.

_Stay with me_

_You're all I see..._

It took her a few minutes to realize exactly where she was. All she could see was white. Her entire body ached. Finally realizing she was on the floor, the memories of the previous night came flooding back abruptly. She shot up off the ground, groaning a little bit trying to stretch out the stiff muscles from sleeping on the ground. She bent down to pick up her cell and checked her messages. She had a mass text from a local boutique she forever regretted giving her number to and a few spam emails but nothing else. She checked the time: 4:13am. She looked at the dinner she'd made, still set up on the table, the pasta long gone cold. Elena caught a glimpse of herself in the small decorative mirror on the wall and realized that she looked like hell. An imprint of the carpet was now obvious on her face and her hair was flat and frizzy.

The gut feeling that something was wrong came fairly quickly afterwards. Where could he be? If he'd forgotten about their date, he would have at least checked his phone and seen her text. If his phone had died, he would have recharged it by now. If he'd lost it, he would have made sure he communicated with her in some way. She couldn't remember a time where she hadn't received a good night text from him, especially since they hadn't talked all day. She tried to flip through her mental calendar, trying to recall what his plans had been. Although his job made him work late occasionally, he would never have worked until 4 in the morning.

Panic started to build. The first word that came into her brain was "dead." It was suddenly all she could think of. Dead in a car wreck. Dead in an alley somewhere. Dead at the bottom of a river. Dead in an emergency room. The images didn't stop. Her throat began to close up as her empty stomach began to turn.

Her more rational side began to kick in as she tried to take deep breaths. She couldn't count the number of times she'd overreacted to shit and been convinced someone had died just because they'd been a few minutes late. She was actually surprised she hadn't gotten caught up in it earlier. She decided the best course of action would be to just get a good night's rest and hyperventilate in the morning if need-be. Besides, her entire body ached for sleep after getting barely enough to survive for the past week. After she changed into a sleep set and brushed her teeth (stopping every once in a while to take more deep breaths when the fears returned), she sent another text to the same number and then rolled over into her pillow.

_Babe, I'm worried. Please call me when you get this._

_Did I say that I need you?_

_Did I say that I want you?_

_Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see_

_No one knows this more than me_

That decision to fall asleep two weeks ago was the biggest regret she'd ever had. Actually, the biggest regret was letting him out of bed that morning. He'd begged to stay in bed all day with her, like he typically did but she'd simply laughed it off, even though the offer had been tempting. She had to go to class and he had to go to work. She would give absolutely anything to go back to that moment, go against her rational head, and leap back under the sheets with her boyfriend. Because, if he'd stayed there, if she'd kept him there, he wouldn't be gone. He wouldn't have been a missing person for the past fifteen days.

Waking up the next morning and seeing that she still had no communication had caused the lump in her throat to return. She'd tried to focus in class that day, but she could barely see the board behind her watery eyes. Around ten that day, she'd gotten a call from his assistant. Apparently, he'd gone on his lunch break the day before and hadn't come back. Rose had assumed he'd simply turned off his phone to spend a technology-free day with Elena, but not showing up to work the next morning had her concerned. That's when Elena realized this was much bigger than a dead phone.

Her life had become a living hell shortly afterwards. The worst part was the phone calls. The first phone call, the one made with shaky hands to the police station had been terrifying. Having to call 911 had felt trivial. 911 was used for real emergencies, like a car accident or your grandfather having a heart attack. Not for asking where your boyfriend was. But she didn't know the number that directed her to just the police station. The calls after that had gotten worse and worse. Thankfully, the police had been kind enough to let her come in early, even though it hadn't been the standard 48 hours. But she knew that going to talk to the cops was something she couldn't do alone. She shakily selected Caroline's number from her phone.

"Oh my god, the guy at that sandwich place we always go to that I can never remember the fucking name of, wrote his number on my bag. I'm telling you, this whole turban look is totally getting me to my next boyfriend. Did I tell you that Steve has become_ such_ an asshole? Oh and don't worry, judgey, it's not like a full Arabic turban or anything. It's super cute and feminine and it's basically just like a ski hat or…"

Elena could barely speak. "Care-" A sob that had long been held in finally broke through.

Elena could practically hear Caroline stop in her footsteps. "Elena, where are you?"

"I'm in… I'm n-near the N-natural S-sciences building," Elena choked out.

Elena heard the click of the phone right after, "Stay right where you are."

_As I come clean..._

_I wonder everyday, as I look upon your face, uh-huh_

_Everything you gave_

_And nothing you would save, oh no_

Elena had never been more thrilled to see a faux fur coat, high waisted shorts with lace tights, and black ankle boots appear in front of her. She had sat down on a bench, holding her stomach and bent over her knees. She was actually thankful that no one had stopped to ask if she was okay because she was fairly sure she would have screamed at them to "fuck off."

After filling Caroline in on the events of last night and this morning, Caroline had taken Elena's keys and driven them both to the station. Caroline sat with Elena through every step of the process she was allowed in, alternating between squeezing her hand and running her fingers through her hair. Caroline was there with words when Elena couldn't speak and coffee when Elena couldn't function. After everything had calmed down, Elena had never been more thankful for her friend.

_Nothing you would take_

_Everything you gave..._

"M'am." Elena shot up from the hard plastic chair she'd been sitting in for the past two hours. Caroline had dozed off a bit, but woke up after hearing the chief approaching. She stood next to Elena, hands interlocked.

"There's not much left for you to do here. A full investigation is launching as we speak and we'll have plenty of our finest looking for your boyfriend. What I recommend for you is to go home, take some heavy sleeping pills, and try to help yourself get some rest. You're going to need it."

"H-how soon do you think it will take until you find him?" Elena asked, her voice trembling.

The officer sighed. "It depends on a lot of different factors, Ms. Gilbert. But I do think it's appropriate for you to go ahead and start making some calls to his family. Just in case."

"Well, he doesn't have much family. Only a brother."

"Actually," Caroline interrupted shyly. "I've already contacted him. He should be here soon." Elena looked inquisitively at her friend. Why did Caroline have his number?

As though timed, a lean handsome man with dirty blonde hair and green eyes came bounding up the steps right at that moment. His eyes were filled with terror. "What happened? Can somebody please tell me what's going on?"

And she hadn't told him anything.

_Nothing you would take_

_Everything you gave_

_Hold me til I die_

_Meet you on the other side..._

**So? Anybody have any theories? Questions? Comments? I really wish you'd stop pretending to be able to write's? :) I'm going to try to make this a mystery as much as possible so don't be upset if I don't directly answer your question. But please feel free to ask them in the reviews in case another of my fabulous readers might be able to answer it for you.**

**Also let me know if any of the more mature content is like jarringly bad. I honestly don't swear that much in real life so adding it into dialogue or conversation is a little bit awkward for me, but I'm trying to be realistic.**

**I love you ladies more than life itself (well, that's a bit of an exaggeration but you get the idea ;p). I hope you have a fabulous week and I will see you on Sunday with either the next chapter of this or S&S's last chap OR MAYBE EVEN BOTH! :o**


	2. Chapter 2: All The Wild Horses

**Wow! I'm so thankful for the response I've gotten on this fic. The reviews and alerts meant so much to me :)**

**Again, I apologize that I can't answer many of the questions you ask in the reviews as it is a mystery but I will make a comment at the bottom related to the comments. I would also ask that you go a _bit_ easy on me when it comes to the last scene in this... You'll see ;) Oh, and the song referenced in this fic is All the Wild Horses by Ray Lamontagne. I HIGHLY recommend listening to it while reading, but in general, I recommend listening to his songs because he's fabulous.**

**Happy Reading!**

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><p>Chapter 2: All the Wild Horses<p>

_All the wild horses  
>All the wild horses<br>Tell her with tears in their eyes  
>May no man's touch ever tame you<br>May no man's reigns ever chain you  
>And may no man's weight ever defrayed your soul<br>And as for the clouds  
>Just let them roll<br>Roll away  
>Roll away<br>As for the clouds  
>Just let them roll<br>Roll away  
>Roll away<em>

"_Damon…" Elena whined, stumbling over her brown oxfords into the room that he was leading her into. "Where did you take me?" They'd driven in the car for almost an hour, after he'd ambushed her once she'd gotten home from class. He didn't respond, simply continuing to walk her clumsily forward. She'd been blindfolded the entire way there, so she had absolutely no clue where he'd taken her. Wherever they were, she was thankful for the soft pink cardigan she was wearing over her lace dress because it was cold._

"_Damon!" She whined again. _

_He laughed lightly. "Relax hon. I promise I'm not taking you anywhere you wouldn't want to be… I hope." She could practically feel his smirk burn through her back._

"_I'm just saying practically every Lifetime movie starts out exactly like this."_

"_Oh, please enlighten me, as I've never watched one of those horrendously shitty things."_

"_Well, the girl and her loving significant other head out somewhere far, far away from all civilization and that's when he rapes her or kills her or burns her alive with acid or…"_

_Damon halted in the middle of the floor, prohibiting her from moving any further. "Do you actually think there's a chance I would do those things to you?"_

"_The girl never does…" she sighed, grinning._

"_Oh my god." She laughed at his dramatic response and squealed when he smacked her butt to move her forward. After walking forward a bit more and even trickily ascending some stairs, he positioned her right where he wanted her. From behind, he slowly untied the blindfold and let it drop to the floor._

_Elena gasped. She was facing a gorgeous ballroom that had long been abandoned. It hadn't been properly maintained in years, but its incredible architecture and design left her breathless. "Holy hell," were the only words she could find at the time. _

_She whipped her head to face him, her mouth gaping. He chuckled, seemingly self-conscious of his decision. "I just know you like places like this and-"_

"_Damon, it's incredible!" She interrupted and turned back so as not to miss an inch of the room. She'd always held a fondness for beautiful places that had been abandoned. Every time she came across an image of one on the internet, she saved it into a special folder. They fascinated her for some unknown reason, but to actually be in one caused her heart to stop._

Elena's heart stopped as it fell on Stefan. He looked completely distraught, his eyes pained and his shirt wrinkled. She'd never met him, only seeing him on a few pictures in her boyfriend's phone.

"Elena, can you please just tell me what's going on?" Elena's jaw was slightly open, but no words would come out. He sighed and turned to the girl next to him. "Care?" Elena's forehead crinkled at his somewhat loving tone. How did he know her? As Caroline began to speak, she was interrupted by the officer.

"Son, please come with me. We need to ask you a few questions."

Stefan stepped forward but his face showed his disbelief. "I don't know anything, sir."

"We'll fill you in once we get back there." The officer lead him back as Stefan took one last look behind at the two women standing slightly awestruck at the latest turn of events.

Elena's mind was reeling as Caroline slowly pulled her towards the car. Once Elena was in the passenger seat and Caroline was pulling out of the parking space to head back to the apartment, Elena gasped loudly.

Caroline slammed on the brakes, shocked by Elena's sudden outburst. "What? What is it?" She looked at Elena expectantly.

"Steven the asshole!" Elena yelled.

Caroline stared at her for a few minutes, fully stunned. She exaggeratedly turned back to face the road. "Oh my god, I thought I'd hit something! Why the hell are you bringing up my soon-to-be-ex? You really do need some sleep." As much as Elena was hurting right now, she was thankful her best friend was still her best friend underneath it all.

"Because _Steven_ is code name for _Stefan, _isn't it?" Elena turned to gauge Caroline's reaction, feeling the same thrill she got when she solved the mystery on a CSI episode.

"What?" Caroline exclaimed, now continuing to drive forward. "Umm, no. _Steve_ is a real guy who's a pompous jerk. _Stefan_ is a nice guy who I hooked up with almost two years ago. Don't you remember my sweatpants phase?"

"Wait, _Stefan_ was your sweatpants phase?" Elena was now even more confused.

"Yeah, apparently I felt 'comfortable in my own skin' around him or some bullshit," Caroline scoffed.

Elena gasped again after putting two and two together, but not as loud as before as not to startle her friend. "So you just didn't think it was necessary to notify me that you had slept with my boyfriend's brother?"

"I didn't know he was his brother until I saw his information at the station! Would you have liked me to interrupt the police so I could inform you of my sexscapades with Stef?"

"Wow…" Elena mumbled. She couldn't believe how messed up this situation was, and she had a feeling it was a lot more messed up than she was prepared for. The tears began to silently fall from her eyes again.

Caroline noticed after a few seconds of silence. "Oh, honey." She pulled over to the side for a moment, as Elena finally had the full breakdown she hadn't felt comfortable having in public. Caroline held Elena as comfortably as she could with the console digging into both their sides, and stroked her hair soothingly. "Shh. Everything's going to be okay, darling. Shh…"

After Elena's sobs turned into sniffles, Caroline tilted her friend's head up so that she had to make eye contact. "Hey, Elz… we're going to find him. I swear to God, if I have to knock on every goddamn door on the eastern seaboard, we're going to find him." Elena laughed through her tears at her friend's insanity. "I'm serious!"

Elena's laugh turned back to more tears as she was once again hit with a wave of anxiety. "But… what if we find his…" She couldn't finish that sentence. Saying it aloud made it real.

"Oh, _god,_ no." Elena lifted her head back up, regarding her friend inquisitively. "Your boyfriend has got to be the most obstinate and pig-headed man I've ever met. He's gonna hold on to his life so hard… Honestly, sometimes I don't think he's _ever _gonna die." Elena smiled at her friend's teasing look of frustration at the thought. But Caroline smiled back at her, a much more sincere expression now gracing her fair complexion. "Especially when he's got you waiting for him back home."

"_Why did you bring me here? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm ecstatic to be here… but why?"_

"_Because I wanted to celebrate Valentine's Day away from everybody… Especially all of our psychotic friends…" He laughed, but Elena's face turned bright red. _

"_Oh my god, Damon!" She whipped back around, covering her face with her hands. How could she have forgotten about Valentine's Day? She'd been dating him for three months… hell, she wasn't sure she'd done anything but date him. _

"_Yeah, I figured you'd let the date slip," Damon laughed. "But, the expression on your face when you saw this place made it all worth it."_

"_I am so sorry, baby," Elena turned back around. Damon chuckled at her pitiful expression and took his chin in her hands._

"_Okay, I'm only gonna get mad if you spend the entire evening hating yourself for forgetting. So wipe that sorry frown off your face and kiss me."_

_Elena smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissed him with everything she had, murmuring "you're amazing's" every time he gave her room to breathe. She leaned back to admire the man in front of her and noticed the bag full of supplies sitting next to them._

"_Why the hell did you bring your gym bag with us?" She said, lightly kicking the bag and giggled. _

"_That gym bag contains my very own date-in-a-bag… patent pending," he smirked._

"_You're pretty proud of yourself for this, aren't ya?"_

"_Oh, after tonight the words 'you owe me' won't even begin to cover it."_

_Elena nearly cackled at his cockiness and pressed their lips together chastely before stepping out of his grasp. She stepped out of the way so he could bend over and set his "date" up. He pulled out her pair of nude heels first and she slipped out of the cardigan and flats to put them on. She was thankful for her body's subconscious desire to at least put a dress on for the occasion. Afterwards, he simply pulled out a speaker set with an iPod already set up. A slow, tranquil song began to flow out of the speakers once he pressed play._

"_Dammit, Damon, you're making me dance?" She cringed a little._

"_Of course we are!" Damon exclaimed. "Dancing's our thing!"_

_She groaned melodramatically as he shoved her into his arms. They weren't dancing in a complicated fashion, only turning and stepping as she leaned into his warm embrace. The music was her favorite kind, purely focused on the voice and instrument, not on some insipid techno beat or electronic add-in. She recognized the song after a few verses._

"_Damon, you realize this song is about convincing a girl to become single so she is no longer in crappy relationships, right?"_

"_Shh…I'm trying to be romantic, but you just refuse to stop talking…" He sounded sure but she noticed the blush in his face. She laughed and leaned her head onto his chest to reassure him._

"_It's beautiful, Damon… You're an ass… but I love it."_

Elena awoke with a start, fresh tears streaming down her face. She exhaled and rolled out of her bed, trying to maintain some semblance of dignity for the friend waiting for her outside. She couldn't look over on the side he normally slept on, and instead stumbled her way towards the door handle.

Once they'd gotten back to the apartment, Caroline had drugged Elena with whatever sleep-inducing medication she'd found first and sent her straight to bed. Thankfully, the pills had won the battle against her over wired brain and she'd passed out almost immediately. But now all she felt was numb and groggy, not relieved and calm.

She stumbled out into the main area and opened her eyes to see two overly concerned people sitting on her couch: Caroline and Stefan. They both stood up the minute she entered.

"Hey, hon. Do you want me to get you some coffee?" Elena realized they'd obviously been there for a while.

"Umm, yeah. Thanks." Caroline smiled and walked past her into the kitchen, but not without first pushing Elena into the room by a shove in the ass.

She and Stefan were suddenly caught in an awkward moment. Ignoring the quick instant they'd seen each other in the station lobby, this was the first time they'd ever really met. But she could see that he was fighting with exactly how to handle the situation. Thankfully, Caroline was a quick pourer.

After Caroline handed her the mug, Elena sat down on the closest chair and she watched as the other two gawkily followed her lead. "Stefan and I were just discussing the situation."

"Yeah," he interjected. "It's, uh, nice to hear it from a perspective other than the police's."

"Plus," Caroline remarked. "He hasn't been in contact with his brother in years so I was just catching him up with… everything."

"I'm sorry I've never been in touch, Elena. It's awful that we're meeting for the first time in such a _shitty_ situation." She noticed his blush at his use of words. Obviously he didn't have the knack for swearing that his brother did.

Elena knew they were both just nervous, but watching their back-and-forth conversation was like a tennis match, each trying to make sure there wasn't a moment of dead space. As they spit out little bits of information, Elena regarded herself in the nearby mirror. "Oh my god."

Both Stefan and Caroline immediately stopped, once again as if staring at Elena like that could stop her from breaking. Elena didn't move her gaze from the mirror. "I look like I've been run over by an eighteen-wheeler." Somewhere between the drugs and her bed, Elena had put on an oversized t-shirt with some unidentifiable stain on the front and huge baggy sweatpants. Her hair was in a haphazard ponytail, frizzy and unwashed. Her black eye makeup was so smeared she looked like a raccoon and she was also picking up on the fact that not showering was starting to affect her odor as well.

The pair on the couch exchanged a glance. "Of course not, sweetheart, you look beautiful… as always." Caroline quickly retorted. Elena watched in her peripheral as she elbowed Stefan to go along with her reassurance.

"Oh, yeah… I was just thinking how I knew _exactly_ why my brother chose you." Elena turned as Caroline slapped him hard in the arm. Stefan's face immediately flushed and he swiftly backtracked. "I mean, obviously he chose you for reasons other than your looks. I'm sure you're smart and, um, funny and…" Caroline put her face in her hands, suffering from second hand embarrassment at Stefan's word vomit.

Elena stared at the two for a moment before finally cracking. She began to laugh… hard. "Oh my god, I'm not dying!" Stefan and Caroline were both gaping at her as though she were the latest exhibit at the circus. "I cannot believe you would lie that blatantly to me. I look like absolute _shit_ and you just sat there, acting like I'm about to walk in a pageant or something." She continued to laugh hysterically, clutching her sides.

After a few more seconds, she heard the slight snort of Caroline and then the relieved chuckle of Stefan until they were all laughing. Later, Elena would realize they were only laughing because it was better than crying.

_Elena and Damon were now lying side by side on the blanket he'd laid out, staring up at the ornately designed ceiling. Their hands were firmly intertwined as Elena rested her head on his chest. They'd spent the evening exploring every inch of the abandoned building. Elena sighed contently. "Can we live here?"_

"_Of course," Damon kissed the top of her head. "I'll quit my job. You drop out of school. We'll live here and spend the rest of our days dancing and sleeping on the floor."_

"_I guess that sounds kind of boring," Elena obliged._

"_Oh, don't worry, sweetheart. We won't have time to get bored. The dust covering this place will damn well coat our lungs and whatever diseases the rats carry will make our lives quite short." Elena laughed softly, snuggling up even closer into his firm chest._

_They sat there in a comfortable silence for a few more moments, as Elena relished in the sound of Damon's lightly beating heart. But her desire to rest was overcome by other desires. "So… we're alone?"_

_Damon laughed. "Only you could actually make that line work." Elena grinned, capturing his lips in hers and carefully adjusting herself so that she was straddling him. Damon opened his mouth and demanded entrance into hers, as she began to slowly undo the buttons on his shirt, pulling him up to her level once she'd gotten them all._

_She slid the shirt down his arms as he groaned, his hands smoothing up and down her back. He located the zipper on her dress and slid it down, making sure to run his fingers over every inch of skin as it was exposed. Matching her movements, he pushed the dress down to her waist. _

_Elena moaned at the feel of cool air hitting her bare skin before standing up to let the short dress fall to her feet. Damon helped throw it to the side as she stepped out of it, running his hands up and down her soft calves and admiring the matching nude lace lingerie set she was wearing._

_He wrapped his hands around to her ass and smirked, pulling her down to her knees. "How did I get someone so ridiculously out of my league?" Before she could disagree, he connected their lips once again, causing her to whimper as he moved her to her back. In the few months they'd known each other, they'd perfected this dance of tongues and movements, yet it never seemed to grow old or boring. _

_He unclipped her bra and threw it aside, pressing open mouth kisses in its wake. He was about to lavish more attention on her breasts when he was suddenly pulled upwards by a tug on his waistband and a whine. _

"_Damon, I swear to God, if you don't make love to me right now, I will never speak to you again," Elena spoke fiercely, arching her back into his chest. He laughed lightly at her childlike petulance before helping her remove his pants and slide them down his legs. _

"_You know, most people would consider you a tool for always going commando, Damon," she squeaked out as he licked and nipped at her neck. She wasn't typically this talkative, but the champagne they'd ingested earlier caused her to feel surprisingly more alert. _

"_I don't think it particularly bothers you, now does it?" Before she could reply, he entered her in one motion, causing her to let out a sound similar to a sob. _

"_Hell, Damon, you didn't even check to see if I was ready." Elena tried to sound upset, but her lust and desire for him to move were causing some difficulty._

"_I know you," he smirked pressing another kiss to her lips and grinding into her. "You're always ready when you're around me."_

_Elena felt a strong temptation to comment on his cockiness, but she knew any remarks of that nature would most likely only cause her regret. It didn't matter though, because he'd finally begun to start the familiar rhythm, producing a sigh to fall from her lips. Every boyfriend before him had treated her like she was easily breakable, thanks to her knack of looking younger than she actually was, but Damon treated her like a woman, a woman with needs and desires akin to his own. As much as she had despised his smirks when they'd first met, she craved them now, especially the ones that appeared when he hit that spot within her or caused that reaction to fall from her lips. Damon growled, unsatisfied with their pace, and slid his hand down from his position on her hips to hook under her knee and pull it up to reach a new angle. Finally, they both reached their climax, gasping for breath and unable to keep the satisfied smiles off of their faces._

**Oh god, I suck at those. So yeah... that was my first time writing smut and I'm ashamed and embarrassed by how sucky it is. If you want good smut, I recommend you head over to my other story S&S only because someone else wrote it for me in there ahhaha. So as much as I asked you to understand that that was literally my first time writing it and I was dying the entire time, I do completely accept constructive criticism to help me out.**

**What I found funny in the reviews was everyone instantly thinking Steven was Stefan. When writing this story, I just picked the first name that came to my head for Care's "love interest" and didn't even think that their names sounded similar. Then every review was thinking I'd snuck Stefan into the story that way. So I added that in to the story just for you guys. See, you influence my writing :P**

**Now, one of the things I need your opinion on is what level of romance v. mystery you guys would like. I'm sure after reading that smut you want me to stay as far away from the romantic stuff as possible but I also want you guys to see what D&E's relationship is like. So let me know if you want more mystery or more romance or if you like the way I'm doing it at the moment. I've thought about (just for fun) doing a whole chapter of just little drabbles between them but please give me your opinion. I can write it either way. And don't stress, no matter what, this whole mystery will be shown and solved.**

**Love you guys to pieces 3 Next update should be up in about a week! Review, review, review :)**


	3. Chapter 3: I'll Follow You Into the Dark

**Hey hey fabulous readers :) I apologize for posting this a day later than I intended to, but I was at the beach all weekend and had a ridiculous amount of work to do last evening so I couldn't. Actually, since I only have five weeks left of my senior year, I have a ton of work to do overall so I'm apologizing in advance in case this happens more than once.**

**I'm so grateful for all of the reviews and love I've been getting lately on this story. You all put a lot of time and effort into this story as well and it's appreciated so so much. I'm still not sure how long this is going to be, but I believe it will only be about 6-7 chapters. I would love to make it longer, but I just don't want to stretch it out for the sake of stretching it out. I know where this story is going, so we'll see once I write it down how long it will actually be.**

**Please please please leave your reviews. One of my favorite scenes I've ever written is the first section of this story so I would like to hear your opinion on it. **

**Love love love** **:)**

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><p>Chapter 3: I'll Follow You Into the Dark<p>

_Love of mine some day you will die_

_But I'll be close behind_

_I'll follow you into the dark_

"I did it!" The words came out half celebratory, half slurred. Elena was spread on her stomach across her bed, struggling to get her slouchy brown boots off with just her clumsy feet.

"What?" The other line was nearly as slurred as she was, but not for the same reasons.

Elena flipped over onto her back and kicked her legs up in the air, grinning like a mad woman at the ceiling. "I did it," she whispered into the receiver. She had to clutch the phone with a death grip thanks to her overly sweaty hands.

A deep sigh was heard on the other end. "You did what, Elena?"

She growled at his impatient, tired tone, but continued on anyways. She hugged her knees to her chest and began to speak into the phone like she was telling a secret. "I dropped out of school." She then let out a small giggle that turned into a squeal.

The other line was silent for a few seconds longer than she would have liked. But right when she was about to provoke him to respond she heard, "Oh my God."

She pouted, her actions exaggerated as though she were performing for someone. But all of her dramatics were pointless because she was alone. "Pouty Stefan… always sad. Be happy for me."

"No, Elena, this is not good." She heard a thud, as though he'd punched a wall. "God, Elena, what were you thinking?"

Elena's good mood from earlier disappeared quicker than the liquid in the bottle had. "I was thinking that that's what girls with dead boyfriends do."

Another long pause filled the line. "He's not dead, Elena," Stefan bit out desperately.

"He might as well be," she scoffed. "It's been a month." One whole month. Four weeks of nothing but desperate attention seekers dying to get their name in the news. He'd been too influential for it not to become a big thing. Her phone had crashed countless times from the number of calls, texts, and emails the media outlets were supplying. Yet, every lead had been a dead end. Every sighting had been just a trick of the light. Every hope had been dashed.

_No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white_

_Just our hands clasped so tight_

_Waiting for the hint of a spark_

_If Heaven and Hell decide_

_That they both are satisfied_

_Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs_

"A month doesn't mean you give up on school," he spoke as if a child was on the other end. "A month doesn't mean you give up on hope." She heard Stefan's voice break on that last word.

"God, I am so tired of people telling me to be hopeful and optimistic. I _was_ optimistic, but then my parents died in that accident. I _was_ optimistic, but then my boyfriend didn't come home one night."

"Well, then I guess it's a good thing you won't remember this conversation." Stefan's words were bitter and harsh. "You never do."

Elena had a witty remark on the tip of her tongue, but she paused when she heard those last three words. Suddenly, the tears she'd been fighting back with tequila all night rose to the surface. Shakily, Elena asked "How many times have I done this?"

Stefan's sigh on the other end made her finally crack. His former anger was long gone hearing her tears form once again. They'd performed this same routine nearly every night. It always ended the same. But he didn't want to hurt her any more than she obviously already was. "Only a few," he replied quietly.

Elena took a shuddering breath, the tears now streaming down her cheeks. "I'm wearing his shirt." She fiddled with the buttons on the large denim shirt she was wearing as a sort of jacket.

"Elena," Stefan murmured. "Honey, you know you can't do that."

"I know," she cried. "But it smells like him. Is that weird?"

"No, no." Stefan took a deep breath. "Believe me, it's not weird."

Suddenly, Elena heard her front door being unlocked. "Stefan," she whispered her entire body tensing as she stood up. "Someone's coming in the house."

"It's okay." Stefan instantly relaxed, knowing his part was over. "It's Caroline."

As if on cue, Elena turned to see Caroline leaning against the door frame and staring at her with a sad smile on her face. "Stefan..." Elena began.

"It's okay, Elena. Get some sleep." He hung up, placing the phone on his dresser, and attempting once again to fall into his fitful sleep.

"Come on sweetie," Caroline said, tugging on Elena's hand towards her bed. "It's time to sleep."

"Care, you're all dressed up," Elena cried, beyond the point of any dignity. "I didn't want you to interrupt your date."

_If there's no one beside you_

_When your soul embarks_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

"It's the middle of the night, Elena," Caroline spoke softly. "My date was over."

Elena began to cry more realizing her friend had obviously left whatever guy's house she'd been at just for her friend. Caroline moved Elena so that she was sitting on the bed and began to undo the button on her skinny corduroy pants.

"Why am I not like them, Care?" Elena sniffled.

"Like who, hun?" Caroline's voice matched Stefan's earlier: like she was talking to a child. She tugged the fabric down Elena's legs.

"All those women in the movies," Elena said quietly. "When someone they love goes missing, they're so strong and they spend all their time searching in creepy offices and dark alleys until they find them. They don't collapse like me."

"You didn't collapse hun." Elena saw Caroline cringe as she removed the shirt that was obviously meant for a male. "Those movies aren't realistic. Nobody wants to watch…" She paused, realizing what she was about to say: nobody wants to watch a woman fall apart and do nothing.

Elena's face scrunched up as more tears came. "I dropped out of school today."

Caroline sighed, moving Elena so that she was under the covers. "I know. Stefan told me."

"He doesn't get it, Care. I can barely get to class most days and when I do, I can't focus. I can't pay attention to something as trivial as a fucking book when I've lost the only person I've ever loved." She gulped back the lump in her throat. "I was failing anyway. It was the right choice."

"Shh," Caroline murmured. "It's time to go to sleep."

"Caroline," Elena said as her friend turned out the lamp. "Do you do this every night?"

"Just some," she replied sadly. "Just some, Elz."

She kissed her now former shell of a best friend on the head and began to walk away.

"Wait," Elena whimpered. "I think I need to take something so I can sleep."

"No, you don't," Caroline said sternly. She refused to have her friend become addicted to anything at this point. "You'll fall asleep on your own."

"Okay," Elena's eyes began to well up again as Caroline left the room and closed the door. Once in the hallway, she slid down the wood and fell to the ground and finally began to let her own tears fall. She shakily texted Stefan and then leaned her head back against the frame.

_In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule_

_I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black_

_And I held my tongue as she told me_

_"Son fear is the heart of love"_

_So I never went back_

"Get up!" Elena groaned at the shrill sound of her best friend. She moved herself so that the pillows covered her head, but they were instantly yanked off by uncharacteristically strong hands. "Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!"

"Do you understand how much pain I'm in right now?" Elena bit out, trying to ignore the dull throbbing in her head.

"I do," Caroline replied. "But, hell, with all this practice, I think I've finally got the hangover kit down. Now get up sleepyhead!" At that, she ripped the covers off Elena's body and happily made her way over to her friend's dresser.

Elena sat up and smiled at the PowerAde and pill combo sitting on her bedside table. She swallowed the pill, appreciating the fact that her friend hadn't turned on the light, but simply cracked the window curtain to allow enough to come in. But noticing what her friend was doing now made her stop her appreciation quickly.

"Caroline!" Elena growled. The blonde was now setting up an outfit on the bed, laying a pair of denim shorts and a cute structured jacket on the bed. "I'm not wearing anything you pick out for me."

"Elena, I refuse to do any more sweatpants in the laundry. Besides, we need to get you a job since _somebody_ decided to quit school."

Elena's mind was suddenly filled with the memories of the day before. After getting herself buzzed enough to not back down, she'd gone to the campus office to fill out the forms. She'd made the decision a long time ago, but had only been able to go through with it under the influence. As much as she felt disappointed in herself, she knew that she was close to being kicked out anyways… or at least put on academic probation.

Elena got out of bed, grumbling over the new wave of pain. "What in the hell kind of job am I going to get wearing denim shorts?"

_If Heaven and Hell decide_

_That they both are satisfied_

_Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs_

"No offense, but I don't think you can _get_ a job with a dress code higher than denim shorts. Besides, this is much more dressed up. Now, I'm letting you wear a t-shirt so we're doing this whole "dressing like a normal human being" thing in baby steps." Elena couldn't fight the smile off her face seeing one of her favorite t-shirts in the pile of clothes. "But you will let me do your hair and makeup and you will shower properly. Okay?"

Elena sighed. "Fine." As much as she wanted to be stubborn, the idea of feeling hot water beat down on her skin won her over. Besides, she knew that she needed to get a job. She just didn't realize it would be that soon.

Caroline sashayed out of the room. "Shower. Now!" She called out closing the door behind her. "I will check on you!"

After a much-needed shower and getting into the outfit Caroline had assigned her, Elena walked out into the kitchen, her damp hair resting on her shoulders and chilling her body. Thankfully, her friend had already set up on the table a bagel, banana, and a steaming mug of coffee. Elena would have thanked her, but Caroline was completely absorbed in typing rapidly on her cell phone.

After Elena took a few sips of the beverage and took a bite of the bagel that turned into three after realizing just how hungry she was, Caroline finally looked up and smiled gratefully at her friend. "Damn, I did good," She murmured cheekily. Elena gave her a soft glare. "Okay, okay, _maybe_ your looks helped it along."

"So… are you going to tell me what happened last night?" Elena spoke quietly after a few moments of comfortable silence. Caroline looked at her for a second and then averted her eyes, ashamed for her friend.

"Sweetie, it's okay… This is what best friends do."

Elena began to tear up again, but Caroline stopped her. "Oh, no tears, Elz." She stood up and moved behind Elena, beginning to braid her dark locks into a fishtail. "It's a brand new day where anything can happen. So let's talk jobs instead."

_If there's no one beside you_

_When your soul embarks_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

As Caroline rambled on and on about various positions for baristas and retail personnel, Elena thought about how much she missed this. In the past few weeks, Elena spent most of her time at home spending pointless hours on her laptop trying to find anything that would calm her mind or answer her questions. She knew that Caroline saw her most nights, but she rarely actually stayed through the morning. Elena missed having coffee with another human being, talking and laughing. She inhaled sharply, realizing how much she missed living.

"_Okay, okay, so what's the big news crazy?" Caroline and Elena sat down at the table in the middle of the crowded coffee shop. "God, we need to find a new place. That fucking news story made them way too popular."_

_Elena grinned at her friend as they subconsciously and simultaneously crossed their toned legs, sipping on their hot drinks. "Well… I met someone." _

_Elena rolled her eyes as Caroline choked on her drink dramatically. "You're kidding me!" She screamed._

"_Shhh!" Elena furiously whispered, desperate to get the prying eyes of their fellow coffee lovers off of them.  
>"God, don't act so surprised."<em>

"_Elena, this is great!" Caroline's grin could barely fit on her face. "I thought with everything that had happened… This is fantastic!"_

_Elena smiled, thinking about all that was going right in her life. She'd just started classes again that she loved. She had a great apartment. She had friends that were always there for. Sure she'd experienced some heartache in her lifetime, and she'd just recently gotten out of a toxic relationship, but it was all for the best._

"_I actually met him at the cemetery…" Elena laughed as Caroline's eyes bugged out of her head. "He was mourning his parents, too."_

"_What guy would pick a girl up in a cemetery?" Caroline nearly yelled._

_Elena smiled thinking about the moment. She'd been standing at the graves, telling them about what teachers she hated when she suddenly sensed a presence behind her. _

"_Yeah, I heard he's a real jerk."_

_She whipped her head around, effectively embarrassed at being caught. The blush grew deeper as she saw just how damn attractive he was._

"_Oh, um…do you go to school here?" She stuttered, now shocked by the guy's audacity to interrupt a girl who was talking to dead relatives._

"_No, I, uh, actually got my degree from NYU two years ago," he replied, his own face turning a bit pink in shame. "I just have a few friends that attend…"_

"_Oh…" They both stared ahead, equally uncomfortable. _

"_I'm in a blunt mood, so I'm just going to shoot straight," he began after a few moments. "I was over there, staring at my parents' graves and I saw you and… I'm now mentally slapping myself because I'm trying and failing to pick up a girl in a graveyard…. I am failing, aren't I?" His eyes sparkled with a little bit of hope._

"_You're failing," Elena smiled, but laughed at his uneasy expression. The silence compelled her to bite. "Why the hell did you think it was okay to hit on a girl in a graveyard?"_

"_Because I have this horrible trait of doing whatever I want, whenever I want. That whole life is short, eat dessert first complex. A common symptom of losing your parents too young."_

"_So, I'm your dessert?" At this point, she wasn't uncomfortable any longer, but just simply longed for the blush on his cheeks again._

_He paused, the red she desired flooding his face. His mouth dropped open, incoherent noises coming out in an attempt to correct her, but she just laughed._

_It was the laugh that had shaken Elena. The amount of genuine laughs she'd had in the past few months were few and far between. So the fact that a stunning man trying to hit on her in the cemetery was causing her to crack up had been the breaking point. The point that made "just that odd man in the cemetery" into someone she sincerely wanted to know. _

_She kneeled down to grab her satchel from the ground and began to dig around in it, producing what she wanted: a scrap of paper and pen. As she scribbled down the numbers, she could practically feel the intense confusion in her peripheral. She signed it simply: Elena._

_She dangled the card in front of him flirtatiously until he cautiously grabbed it, still a bit shocked. But he found his composure and examined the card. _

_He smirked. "Elena," he spoke slowly, almost in a drawl. "I'm-"_

"_No thank you," she replied quickly, interrupting him._

"_No thank you?" He cocked his head in confusion._

"_I don't want to know your name…yet. I just want you to call me." Elena winked, and then walked past him towards her car, making sure to brush her shoulder against his own._

_Caroline's jaw was dropped about as deeply as his had been. "You little minx!" she squealed. "Oh my god, has he called you?" _

"_No," Elena smirked. "But I have a feeling he will soon."_

"_Umm, if he doesn't, I totally doubt his heterosexuality!" Elena laughed at her friend's outrageous comment, that same genuine smile still plastered on her face from the earlier encounter._

_You and me have seen everything to see_

_From Bangkok to Calgary_

_And the soles of your shoes are all worn down_

_The time for sleep is now_

_It's nothing to cry about_

_'cause we'll hold each other soon_

_In the blackest of rooms_

As Caroline tied the hair tie around the finished braid, there was a knock at the door. Caroline sighed dramatically (although every sigh of Caroline's was dramatic) and stepped away to answer the door as Elena swallowed a particularly large bite of the bagel. When Caroline answered it, Stefan rushed into the room.

He was breathing heavily, obviously having rushed over to her apartment. Although it was difficult for him, he looked like shit, as though he'd just rolled out of bed. "Elena," Stefan spoke quickly. "I got a call last night."

Elena stood up immediately, a look of pure guilt on her face. "Stefan, I am so sorry. All I can remember is calling you, but I have no clue what I said and-"

"No," Stefan shook his head. "No, not from you. I don't know who it was from but I think you need to hear this."

Stefan came over to the table and placed his phone down on the wood as Caroline rushed to catch up to the two of them. He rapidly began to speak as he punched buttons. "It was after you called. I was so tired that I didn't even hear the phone ring. When I woke up this morning, I had a missed call and this." Suddenly a spine-chilling voice filled the room.

"_I can tell you where he is. Meet me at 416 West Hanover Street tomorrow at 9:00pm alone. If not, I can make the disappearance permanent."_

"And, of course, it's a fucking blocked number," Stefan spoke bitterly.

Elena spoke without hesitation. "I have to go." Her voice sounded almost robotic.

Stefan and Caroline both looked at her like she was growing a horn. Elena repeated her statement. "I can't not go."

Caroline, knowing her best friend's stubbornness, simply walked out of the room towards Elena's bedroom, leaving Stefan to deal with her.

"Um, yes you can, Elena. We need to go to the police."

"He said alone, Stefan. That means without the damn cops... and without a friend."

Stefan sighed exasperatedly. "Elena, this isn't safe. We get tips all the time-"

"But not like this!" Elena interrupted, her voice nearing a yell. When she saw Stefan's face, she lowered her tone. "We've never gotten a tip like this and you know that."

"The call was for me, Elena. Whoever it is wants to see me."

_If Heaven and Hell decide_

_That they both are satisfied_

_Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs_

"He just wants to see someone, Stefan. And I refuse to let someone else do what I need to do."

"I can't fucking protect you if you go alone!"

"I don't need to be protected!"

"The way you acted last night says otherwise!"

"Guys!" Caroline walked back into the room. Stefan and Elena stopped their fight, both breathing heavily to turn to the blonde. She was holding up another familiar phone: Elena's. "I was just curious and… you got it too."

Elena nearly tackled her friend in her effort to hear the voicemail. Putting it on speakerphone, the same chilling voice filled the room once again, repeating the same instructions to her.

After a few moments of silence, Elena spoke again, calmly this time. "He wants us both to go, Stefan. We can both go and you can keep us safe and we can find him."

Stefan ran his fingers through his hair staring first at the ceiling and then at Caroline. She simply shrugged her shoulders and sat back down at the table.

"Okay," Stefan replied. "But you know that this isn't a guarantee, Elena. It could be a dead end."

Elena considered his words for a moment before continuing. "I just want something, Stefan. I just need something."

_If there's no one beside you_

_When your soul embarks_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

**So? I really loved the first scene because of the emotion it conveyed. Her having to be so crushed that Stefan and Caroline have to practically babysit her breaks my heart. As much as I want Elena to come off strong, I also desired for her to have her breakdown.**

**I'm having a difficult time with the mystery aspect of the story. I don't want to give too much away, but that is the part of this story I struggle with the most (that and the smut ;) hahaha) but I know you guys are really looking forward to that part of it so I'm doing my best.**

**I will also do my absolute best to upload on Sunday but it's another super busy week and weekend for me so again apologies in advance. I hope you all have a fabulous week filled with Delena goodness (3x19 holla!) and love.**

**Remember, reviews are the Coachella to my Nian ;)**

**Love love love**


	4. Chapter 4: See the Sun

**Hey hey gorgeous people! I'm still swamped as all get out, but when I needed to take a break this week, I made sure to keep on chugging away at this. ****I was hoping to fit both romance and mystery into this one, but once I started the mystery I couldn't stop hahaha. So my apologies for the lack of lovey dovey, but this is definitely an important chapter for two of our characters so keep on reading. Besides, I may just make the next chapter ALL romance ;).****  
><strong>

**BTW, how freaking flawless was 3x19? I practically couldn't function. My best friend filmed me during the episode because apparently my reactions were video-worthy hahaha. So excited for the last three eps of the season, no matter what happens. **

**Also please please please leave a review. They keep this story going like its own form of oxygen.**

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><p>Chapter 4: See the Sun<p>

_Oh you can have it all and wrap it in the world_

_You can have everything_

_You can have love and lots of other things_

_To make you think_

_But when it all comes down to you girl_

_Yeah no matter what you do_

_Take a look at yourself and realize_

_I've been good to you_

_I've been good to you_

Elena sat on the couch, impatiently tapping her foot. She pressed a button on her phone in order to wake it from its sleep so she could see the time. He wasn't late, but her desire to leave as soon as possible was causing her to be on edge. She'd barely slept the night before, but she didn't know if that was from the lack of alcohol or simply the need to find out information.

She stood by her decision to leave the police out of it. She was so tired of being told "no" and "we'll let you know when we have more information." She couldn't stay out of it. This wasn't a lost dog where you just did your normal day-to-day activities and waited. This was a human being… a very important human being. And she refused to let him slip through her fingers simply because the cops were too interested in formalities.

Having this tip, this lead, could change everything. Her anxiety was coupled with the thrill of it. She'd never done something this risky in her entire life and she found herself smiling when she thought about it. She'd been a bit of a spontaneous person before, but the idea of walking into the line of fire (hopefully pun not intended) was exhilarating.

She cringed a bit realizing how much she sounded like that girl in Twilight, jumping off a cliff just to feel something. He would have killed her if he realized she was doing anything similar to that movie, but it was true. Feeling something else, anything else, was better than feeling this _hopelessness._

Caroline, knowing her best friend far too well, realized Elena would have spent the whole day dwelling on it if she could so she forced her to go to the job interviews she'd set up. Once again, she had convinced Elena to wear a Caroline-chosen outfit. The black leather skirt was for the super nerdy guy that worked at the coffee shop who'd always had a huge crush on Elena ("He stares at your ass all the time," Caroline said cheekily. "Let's use that to our advantage.") The opaque black tights and conservative gold top with the bow were for the traditionalist old woman who owned the book store ("She stares at me like I'm the devil's spawn just because my neckline doesn't hit my jawline.") The funky geometric earrings and cute red flats were all Caroline and the cozy printed cardigan was for Elena… but only because she promised to let Caroline borrow the latter two items.

_Oh no! I didn't mean to say what I did say _

_All about lovers and how they should lay_

_That was never for me to say and say_

_Don't you see now how I pay?_

But as Elena stood up and walked towards the mirror, she was nearly ashamed over her appearance. She'd never been one of those girls who lived and breathed by the number on the scale or spent hours making herself look good. But she also realized she was never the prettiest girl in the room, especially with friends like Caroline. She had never felt as beautiful as she did when she was with him. It was cliché, but he'd always stared at her like she was his treasure. But now that he was gone, her flaws seemed far more prominent.

She could see the dull skin, the flat hair, and the dark under eye circles. She wasn't sure if it had always been like this or if stress was the source. She knew she'd lost weight; food hadn't exactly been a comfort when, every time she entered the kitchen, she thought of his cooking skills. But as she smoothed her hands down her flat stomach and thin legs and barely-there hips, she began to tear up. Maybe she'd never been pretty at all.

"Elena?" She whipped her head up to see Stefan standing at the door. He was wearing fitted jeans and a looser grey Henley. His face held a look of confusion and fear. She recognized why pretty quickly.

"Sorry," she responded, wiping the tears as discretely as possible from her eyes. "I'm not drunk. Don't worry. Just fragile."

"Oh, okay," Stefan nodded. They stood in uncomfortable silence for a few moments, neither knowing what the hell to say, until Stefan cleared his throat. "Umm, are you ready?"

"Oh, yeah," Elena nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. "Let me just grab my phone."

Elena could feel his eyes on her as she picked her phone up off of the table. She stood up slowly, her earlier thoughts and his stare, now doubling her self-consciousness. "What is it?" She tried to have a light tone, but the somber atmosphere made it difficult.

"Nothing," he ran his hands through his hair, obviously not looking forward to this conversation. "I just… What if it doesn't work?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if this is a dead end? Or some crazy guy with a fucking knife who just wants to kill us?"

Elena groaned, any previous faux politeness gone. "Stefan, we've already had this conversation. Dead end or not, I need something or else I'm going to become the crazy _girl_ with a knife."

_I see the sun rising_

_And all you see is its fall, fall, fall_

"This isn't safe, Elena!" His voice was raised, too. "This is a suicide mission."

"So?" Elena instantly realized her mistake. _Crap_, she thought as she saw his stunned expression.

"No, no I didn't mean it like that," she said instantly trying to backtrack.

Stefan gaped. "Is that what this is about? Some goddamn 'I don't care if I die' _game_? Because this is over if that's the case."

"No! Stefan, it's not…" She paused and took a shuddering breath, cursing the tears that were starting to form. "But I would die for him. And if I give up on the chance to learn something about him or where he is simply because I'm afraid to get hurt… I would regret it forever."

Stefan appraised her for a few moments as she tried to not break down again. He sat down on the nearby ottoman and pressed his elbows down on the tops of his thighs, covering his face with his hands. She could barely hear him with his muffled voice. "Yeah… yeah, me too."

Elena fidgeted in her place sniffling, not quite sure what to say or where this conversation was going to go. But Stefan took that uncertainty away after a few seconds. "We should go." He pushed himself up from his position. "We don't want to be late." He tried to make it sound like a joke, but his smile could only last for so long.

"Wait," Elena stopped him. The thought had been bothering her for a few days now. She exhaled before she spoke. "Why are you here?"

Stefan cocked his head in confusion. "What the hell do you mean, Elena?" Apparently his earlier frustration was still under the surface.

"I mean, you've been sleeping in a hotel for the past month. You actually take my drunken calls even when it's the middle of the night. And you are ridiculously concerned with my safety… I just don't get it," Elena paused. She was incredibly fearful of his answer, but she had to know if her guess was true.

Stefan sighed and took a moment to respond to her inquiry, but didn't let go of her gaze. "I've asked myself that question a million times. And my answer is… I owe it to him." Stefan swallowed deeply before he said the next part. "I owe it to you."

Elena blinked, stunned by his response. "You don't owe me anything, Stefan."

"God, yes, I do," Stefan urged stepping closer to her. It was though his neatly maintained barriers had cracked. "Do you know how happy he was with you? Do you know how much he talked about you? I mean, I rarely talked to him before all this but… We were never having conversations about _him_. We were always talking about _the two of you. _His entire world revolved around you and… you made him better._"_

Elena, in that moment, wanted to talk for hours. She wanted to make them coffee and sit on the couch and have Stefan tell her everything. What exactly he'd said, what he was like when he was a kid, hell everything he could. But she didn't have that privilege right then. She just sighed. "Alright, let's go."

_So come on up_

_Wasn't it you who said life was like a plastic cup_

_To be used and then disposed of_

_Yeah but that's no way to live a life like yours_

_Don't you see now how I pay?_

They arrived at the address a few minutes earlier than they were supposed to. The two shared a glance, each checking for any signs of wanting to turn back. Scarily enough, they both saw the desire in the other's eyes, but they still got out of the car and started walking.

The building was a now closed down grocery store. Everything else around it had long ago been closed for the day or was out of business. There wasn't any sign of life except for a few various cars parked in the lot. When they reached the front, Stefan tugged on the handle of the glass door but it was locked.

"Maybe the back is open," Elena offered. She could already see the doubt forming in Stefan's eyes.

They rounded the shopping complex until they were able to locate a basic metal door in the back that seemed to have a faded logo of the old store. Stefan took a deep breath before trying the door, but it easily opened despite its heaviness. Elena took a sigh of relief, thankful that they hadn't come to a dead end.

They stepped inside the dark hallway, lit only by an emergency exit sign. Elena took her phone out and located a flashlight app to shine around. The space was filled with things she pretty much expected: empty cardboard boxes, piles of paper that were probably important but not important enough, and even some various packaged goods.

They continued to walk forward, the silence nearly deafening. After walking through the hallway with offices, they pushed open a set of solid double doors and they were in the actual store. Luckily, the glass windows in the front helped bring in some of the moonlight and outdoor lights causing the new area to be much better lit.

Elena began to feel Stefan's doubt herself. There was obviously nobody here. If there were, they had an inhuman talent of staying quiet. Stefan obviously felt the same way because when he spoke, his voice didn't hide behind a whisper.

"I guess we are a bit early," he said, not fully believing his own words.

"Oh, yeah," Elena replied. "I guess we can just… explore?" Some of Elena's stress had disappeared knowing for the moment they were alone.

_I see the sun rising_

_And all you see is its fall, fall, fall_

They began walking down the aisles that had been haphazardly cleaned, every once in a while spotting some food that had been left behind: a box of cereal, canned soup, a candy bar. Elena ran her fingers along the empty produce bins and glanced up, reading the signs labeled "Meats," "Dairy," and "Frozen."

"Um, Elena?" She whipped her head around hearing Stefan's concerned tone. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

Stefan's normally somber face cracked a little bit with a smile. "Because you have this really weird grin on your face and I'm making sure you haven't actually gone mad."

Elena touched her fingers to her mouth in surprise and realized she was indeed smiling. "Oh, I'm sorry… I just… I really love places like this. I didn't even know I was that amused by it."

Stefan laughed slightly. "Places like what?"

"I don't know," Elena replied. "Places that were once filled with life and activity and motion and loved by people just… empty. Left behind, forgotten. It holds this sort of beauty that no new place can capture." Elena wasn't sure why she continued to explain in detail, but she'd never gotten the chance before. "It's sort of like that feeling where you hear a secret that you really shouldn't be allowed to know. I feel like I'm walking into someone else's story, someone else's world. This old decrepit place just frozen in time, while we continue to move at a breakneck pace." Elena let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Stefan was staring at her with an expression she'd never seen before. "I'm sorry. That didn't make any sense."

"No, it actually makes perfect sense. Your mind is…" His voice was quiet and breathy as though he was stunned by her words, so much so that he couldn't finish his sentence.

Elena felt a blush form on her cheeks and her heart beat quicken. _Oh my god, what is wrong with me? _she thought. But her embarrassment didn't last long as suddenly a loud startling crackling sound erupted in the room. Both jumped and Elena gasped as she heard the same voice from the voice message say, "Elena."

"The loudspeaker," Stefan whispered. "Come on," he grabbed Elena's arm gently, attempting to weave her back through the aisles when the voice on the speaker spoke again. "Stefan."

Elena had no clue what was going on, but continued to follow Stefan as he tried to discover the origin of the voice. But suddenly Elena felt something heavy hit her hard in the shoulder and she fell to the ground. Whatever it was covered her almost entirely, and bile began to rise in her throat as she sensed that it was shaped like a body.

"Elena!" She felt the weight lift off of her and Stefan helping her get back up. "It's just a dummy. Come on, I think I can tell where it is." As Stefan pulled her forward, Elena turned to glance at the ground and saw that it actually was just a really large doll.

The bile didn't disappear though. In fact, it only grew stronger as she began to realize exactly what this was: a joke. They weren't going to find anything. She wanted to cry but they'd reached the front of the store.

"Are you kidding me?" Stefan yelled. Apparently he'd seen something that Elena hadn't because he raced past her and behind a counter where he yanked up someone by their shirt. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Elena gulped. It was a teenager, just some kid. She hated herself at that moment. How could she have been so stupid?

Suddenly her ears were filled with the shrill sounds of an alarm. "Dammit, Elena!" Stefan yelled, pointing behind her. She saw another boy darting past her, obviously the one who'd pulled it. She began to chase after him but he reached the door before she did, a door that had apparently only been locked from the outside. She watched him through the glass rushing out into the parking lot.

The breath rushed out of her as she leaned her head against the cold glass. She could hear Stefan having a muffled conversation with the boy who was now almost reduced to tears after being caught. She was about to close her eyes, just in an attempt to escape the hell that was her emotions but a flash of bright colors stopped her. She glanced up and saw the cop cars swerving into the parking lot.

"Shit."

_For all the times I never never turned away_

_And now she is there on someone else's arms_

It had been an awful process. When the police had burst in, the teenager had started screaming that Stefan and Elena had been the ones to set him up, something that was actually easy to do since Stefan still had him in the vice grip. But thankfully once Elena began to rapidly explain what had actually occurred, one of the cops recognized them and let them go. The boy apparently later confessed to just doing it out of boredom. He'd seen the story on the news, was able to track down the pair's info, and just felt like screwing with them on a Saturday night.

Of course, Stefan and Elena didn't get too far. Once the chief showed up, he yanked them both aside and forced them to go down to the station to "answer some questions" or, in actuality, be lectured. After being scolded on not coming to them with the lead, told over and over again how idiotic they were, and reassured that the organization was doing all they could to find him, they were allowed to go back home.

Back in Stefan's car, they sat in silence as he drove. Elena stared out at the quickly passing buildings. It was dark outside and the lights hit the wet pavement in an almost dizzying sort of way. The gravity of the situation was beginning to hit her and she glanced over at Stefan. He was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles had turned white. She knew his pain. It was indescribable. It was a big ugly shitty mess of regret and despair and rushing anger also coupled with a sick sense of ease. An ease that tricked the brain into thinking everything would be okay. Every time she didn't feel crippled by grief she hated herself that much more. It wasn't fair to be happy, to move on.

Move on… God, the words sounded wrong. She'd never really contemplated it. Not once. This whole time she'd just been waiting for him to come home, waiting for him to be found, no matter how many times she'd "decided" in her mind that he was dead. But what if it never happened? What if the search was over? Did the police know that? Had they already given up, just going through the motions until it was acceptable to stop?

She wondered if Stefan felt the same. Outwardly, he seemed more dejected. But did he still have hope? She sighed. Of course he did. And she couldn't lie. She did, too. She probably always would. But this… this had been a setback, a huge one.

When they pulled up to Elena's apartment, she had no clue what to say. Neither had spoken since they'd left the station. "Stefan…" she spoke softly, as though anything louder might scare him.

"Elena, it's fine… You don't need to apologize. Just... let's just get some rest and we can discuss this in the morning when we're both not so… wired."

Elena nodded her head numbly, knowing his words were true. She, once again, could feel tears forming and wanted to get out of the car as fast as possible in order for him not to see them. She opened the door and was going to get out until she felt a grab at her arm.

"I'm sorry." Elena could see from the light opening the door had produced that his eyes were darker than normal. "I have no clue if this is completely out of line but… I know why you were crying earlier tonight. I was there for longer than I let on and… it's not true. You shouldn't believe that." He spoke quickly, almost fearful of the words coming out of his mouth.

Elena blinked, not understanding what he was talking about, but then she remembered when he'd walked in. The mirror. The way she'd been running her hands along her body and crying over her lack of beauty. She knew his words were muddled because it was late and they were tired and he was scared of what he said, but if he was saying what she thought he was saying…

"Thank you," Elena said quietly. She wasn't sure what else to say or if there was protocol on what to do when your missing boyfriend's brother indirectly calls you pretty after you almost get arrested for trespassing.

He turned his head so he was just staring at the steering wheel. She finally got the courage to step out of the car, unlock her front door, and walk inside her house, hearing his car pull out of the lot. As if on auto-pilot, she simply walked to her room and collapsed on top of her bed. The only thing that came to mind was the same thing she'd said when she saw the police cars earlier that evening.

"Shit."

**So what'd ya think? I do want to make a semi-vague statement, but _please stick with this story._ I know this chapter seemed a bit Stelena-y, but everything I write has a purpose and everything gets us to the so-called "endgame" of this story. I'm not guaranteeing anything but remember that this fic is filed under Damon/Elena so please don't give up on this just yet. I promise you won't be mad. :)**

**Ugh, I'm utterly enthralled by this version of Elena in this story. We have a lot of similar characteristics and her character is the thing that's really propelling me to continue writing this story.**

**More Caroline, Damon, and hopefully a bit lighter material headed your way. If you're interested in a whole chapter of Delena drabbles, let me know in the reviews. :D**

**Remember, reviews are the porches to my Delena. shh, motel porches count too ;)**


	5. Chapter 5: Gotten

**Hey everybody,**

**Unfortunately, this chapter is going to have to start out on a bad note. This was a topic I never ever wanted to discuss, but being presented with the situation, I have to. I got zero reviews last week. As in, none. Now, I understand my story isn't incredibly popular, but getting absolutely no reviews in seven days has never happened before. Even when I first started writing, I got five reviews within three days on the first chapter of my first ever story. I'm not going to be that kind of person who says "I have to get this many reviews before I'll post the next chapter" but I really questioned whether to post this or whether I should even finish this story when I was getting absolutely no feedback.**

**I can sort of see why the last chapter was the one without any reviews. It had what looks like the beginnings of Stelena and may not have seemed as action-packed as other chapters have. But you have to understand that this is a journey and it's a mystery. Even when it seems like its veering in one direction, you have to keep reading or else you'll miss the next turn. When I see no reviews, to me that means I sucked... hard. Did I actually write a terrible chapter? Possibly. But I can't know that if I don't get told whether or not that's true.**

**I tried to make this chapter a bit more likable. (Don't worry. I didn't throw this in just to get reviews; it was planned from the beginning.) It's entirely Delena and also 2500 words longer than the typical chapter I write. I also gave another shot at writing smut. I really hope I don't come off as some horrible brat, but I do seriously need reviews or else I can't find a reason to finish this story. I've said it a million times, but I write this story for you all, not for myself.**

**I'm still immensely grateful for all of the support you've given me in the past and for every person who reads this story. Thank you for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy.**

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><p>Chapter 5: Gotten<p>

So nice to see your face again

Tell me how long has it been

Since you've been here

You look so different than before

But still the person I adore

Frozen with fear

I'm out of love but I'll take it from the past

I'll let out words cause I'm sure it'll never last

"_Elena! Come on, we've got to meet Caroline and… whatever his name is." Elena rolled her eyes at Damon's impatient voice coming from the living room. He'd been ready for over twenty minutes. She'd only just finished curling her hair into near perfect loose ringlets. Thankfully, the black eyeliner and bright lip had been completed prior to her hair, but she added another swipe of clear gloss before dropping it into her fuchsia clutch._

"_You know his name!" Elena shouted back, digging through her jewelry box to find the perfect accessories. "And we can't be that late." She located a more wild necklace (obviously a gift; she'd never buy something like it) with some geometric details and a cool rhinestone knuckle ring._

"_Actually, by the time we get there, we'll be thirty minutes late." Elena cursed under her breath as she slipped on pumps that matched her clutch._

"_I'm coming. I'm coming," She rushed out of the room, digging through the bag to make sure her phone and keys were still there. Apparently she hadn't been that careful with her keys. She scrolled through her memories and then snapped her fingers remembering that she'd thrown them on the kitchen table. She moved to look, but realized she must have thrown her massive amount of notes and textbooks right on top of them. As she was digging, she suddenly felt warm arms wrap around her waist from behind._

"_Did you really think you had a chance in hell of getting past me while wearing that and not letting me appreciate the view?" She unsuccessfully tried to hide the shiver that his hot breath near her ear caused. _

"_I thought we were running late." She smiled as she finally located the keys underneath a few pages of statistic notes. _

"_We are so not going to dinner when you look this hot." He began to place kisses on the back of her neck. She made sure to quickly turn around so not to be distracted. Sure, she'd worn the tight black leather skirt and floral print lace tank in order to show as much skin as possible and to rile him up. But she didn't think he'd try to trap her inside the house._

"_Nice try, buddy," she clicked her tongue. "But I've experienced enough of Caroline's wrath unwillingly. I'm not going to voluntarily take it."_

_Damon pouted for a second, before placing a hard kiss on her lips. Elena fought back as long as she could, knowing that if she gave in for even a moment, her carefully planned outfit would go completely to waste._

"_Let me take the blame," Damon replied after moving back. "We're already late. You know they'd be forever grateful if they had a date night alone. We'd be doing them a damn favor." He began to run soothing patterns on the part of her shoulder that was exposed._

_Elena considered it for a moment. She hadn't really wanted to go in the first place. Caroline was a big believer in PDA and she and Damon always ended up having their own conversations while the other couple got their mack on. But she glanced back at the work on the table behind her and changed her mind._

"_No, Damon, I have to get out of this house. I've been sitting inside for days practically. I only leave to go take a test or turn in a paper. I'm going out and I'm going to have a good time tonight."_

_She was expecting a groan or a rolled eye, but instead she saw his traditional smirk cross his face. "Alright, how about we go out… just you and me? Although I can't promise I won't want to punch every guy who looks at you for more than two seconds."_

_Elena pursed her lips, looking as though she was heavily considering it, but she knew her decision had been made the second he wrapped his arms around her. "Fine," she sighed exaggeratedly, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Where are you going to take me?"_

_Damon grinned. "How about we go dancing?"_

_Elena's jaw dropped. "No way!"_

"_Come on, it won't be as… interesting as it was last time. I promise."_

"_I would say I have fond memories of that night but… oh that's right. I can't remember anything."_

_Damon laughed. "Fine, fine, we'll stay away from those 'shots of death.' Now please?" He pouted like a child desperate to get his way._

_Elena looked at him warily and let out another sigh. "What the hell? Let's go dancing."_

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><p><em>Elena's heart beat a little faster as they approached the club. All she did remember from the last time was walking in with a big grin on her face and then waking up in the morning feeling like an 18-wheeler had run over her. Everything in between the two memories was a giant blur, only partially filled in with hazy remembrances from witnesses.<em>

_She'd already texted Caroline saying that they were ditching, but ignored the seven missed calls from the rambunctious blonde. Once inside, after Damon had gotten their drinks, Elena gained enough liquid courage to yank him up and onto the dance floor. He pulled her body closer to his own because of the crowds. Their synchronization came almost immediately, surprising since she couldn't recall the last time they'd danced together. She could feel the warmth of Damon's hands through her thin lace tank and shivered at the occasional invisible circles he drew on her lower back._

"_Are you happy you did this instead?" Their foreheads met in the middle as their bodies continued to move. _

_Elena wanted to feign apathy but she couldn't fight the giant grin that grew to her cheekbones. "Maybe," she said sing-songy._

_Damon smirked and pecked her on the lips as they moved in perfect harmony, increasingly moving more sexily as the night went on. Every touch seemed to burn and her heartbeat began to increase as though she were running. Unexpectedly, she felt herself slam her lips to his, opening her mouth and practically demanding he kiss her back as much as she was kissing him. He took that unspoken challenge, his tongue sliding along her own and his hands sliding lower and lower down to her ass, caressing the smooth leather of her skirt. _

_Elena's more rational side kicked in almost instantaneously and she shot back, yanking his hand towards the front door before she decided sex on the dance floor was a great idea. _

"_Whatcha doing, Elena?" She shuddered at the warm breath near her ear. He tried to sound like a little boy who didn't know where he was being taken, but she could practically feel the smirk on his face that stated otherwise: he knew exactly what was going on._

_Elena whipped around and decided to play just as hard as he was. She leaned over and placed her mouth right next to his ear. "You're going to take me home," she paused to let her tongue flick his earlobe "… and do exactly what I say. Got it?"_

_His hand slid around and started to subtly tug up the leather material. "Now why would I do that?"_

_Elena threw her hand back and grasped his, preventing him from pulling her skirt up any further. "Because you knew exactly what the fuck you were doing on that dance floor, consequences be damned. Damon, meet your consequences."_

_Once they got back to her apartment, the clothes flew off so fast she was almost afraid they would rip. She'd made sure to keep her hands off of him during the ride home (safe driving and all) but the wait had stretched their horniness much too far for their liking. Their lips were everywhere: on her cheeks, his jawline, both of their chests. She loved the fact that her bright lipstick was leaving marks on him, a subtle claim that could easily be washed off but still made her feel powerful._

_Damon had always been a fan of beautiful lingerie so she'd made sure to wear one of her favorite sets: a candy apple red lacy strapless bra with matching thong. He ran his hands over the lace of both garments as Elena's head fell back, immersed in the feel of his hands on her more intimate areas. He led her to her room, continuing his rampage of wet open-mouth kisses on her quickly overheating skin. By the time they'd gotten to the soft bed, every undergarment the couple had previously been wearing (she was fairly sure Damon hadn't been wearing anything underneath his pants but the undressing had been a blur) was long gone. Elena pushed him down first, crawling up and over him until she was straddling him. Neither wanted foreplay or any more teasing. They just wanted as much of the other as they could possibly get as quickly as they could possibly get it._

_Elena sank down on top of him and began to move up and down, his hands gripping tightly on her hips as he tried to maintain some semblance of control. She wasn't satisfied though and yanked his hands off of her sides and placed them on her breasts. Damon couldn't stand the lack of contact that came from the upright position and moved her roughly down so that every inch of their skin was touching and claimed her mouth with his. He moved his lips down to her breasts, paying equal attention to both as she groaned from the sensation._

_Elena couldn't handle the overwhelming touches and felt her inner walls tighten as her orgasm rang through every inch of her body. He flipped her onto her back as she placed light kisses wherever her now weak body could reach, each a silent thank you for making her feel so incredible. Damon continued to thrust inside of her, kissing her occasionally while running his hands up and down her sides. The once rough sex quickly turned into a much more intimately slow act, the unbridled sexual tension transforming into the unspoken love the two shared for the other. The simple eye contact they were sharing ended up being their simultaneous demise, each falling into their own orgasms as they cried out the other's name. _

_After Damon had rolled over, he couldn't stand for her to be out of his arms for more than five seconds. He wrapped his forearms around her stomach and pulled her towards him in a spooning position, each wearing a smile that probably wouldn't fade until the morning._

And I've been saving

These last words for one last miracle

But now I'm not sure

I can't save you if

You don't let me

You just get me like I never

Been gotten before

_Elena slammed the door as she burst into her apartment. She chucked her classic two-toned bag onto the couch and let out a loud groan combined with a scream. Ula, obviously afraid of her owner's clamor, ducked into the bedroom, most likely to hide under her chair. Elena was infuriated and she wanted to make sure everyone within a five mile radius knew about it. She exaggeratedly kicked off her girly brogue shoes and left them in the middle of the floor, stomping to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle from the refrigerator. The upcoming conversation was definitely going to need a beer._

_Damon finally arrived after an hour, an hour that had allowed Elena's emotions to grow even more heated. She was sitting at the dining room table, her legs crossed up under her, wrinkling the black cigarette pants she'd worn to class. When he entered, a large grin was on his face. _

"_I got the best deal on these tomatoes. The pasta sauce I'm going to make you will rock your world." He paused when he saw his girlfriend's expression. "Elena, is everything okay?"_

"_Any reason you need to get cheap food, Damon?" The malice poured out of her tone._

"_Um," Damon was not sure where this was going. "Because it's always good to save a few bucks?"_

"_Could it possibly be because you're lacking…. oh, a few thousand dollars?" Elena cocked her head and watched as recognition finally crossed Damon's features._

"_Elena…"_

"_I went to the main offices today to explain why my last payment was late and I get told that I shouldn't worry and that my boyfriend has me covered. Do you know how humiliating that was? The woman at the front desk just glared at me like I was sleeping with you just to get my tuition paid!" Elena had stood up at this point, her face red with anger._

"_Elena, I was just trying to help. You were behind… I thought it would be nice."_

"_I told you I never wanted your damn help! I have to do this for me. I have to be the one that pays for my classes."_

"_But you weren't!" His tone was as infuriated as her own. "You weren't paying for them! Did you think you could hide all of the bills from me? They were coming in like you were Harry Potter getting letters from Hogwarts through the fireplace!" _

_Elena grew flustered, not sure what to tell him. Yes, she'd been behind. It had been hard to get hours lately and she'd obviously seen the big red letters on most of her mail. "I can't be that girl, Damon!" She tried to fight back. "I can't rely on your for your money."_

_Damon placed the bag on the kitchen counter. "Why not, Elena?"_

"_Because what if this doesn't work out?" The words escaped her mouth before she could even contemplate them. "I mean…"_

_Damon's features instantly softened. "Is that what this is about?" _

_Elena sighed, looking down on the ground and taking a minute to compose herself. "Of course it is. I mean, if we break up…"_

"_Elena," Damon came over to her, running his hands up and down her arms and the fabric of her plaid shirt. "If we ever did break up, emphasis on the if, I would never leave you out to dry." Elena let out a soft chuckle, his Southern roots showing through his choice of phrase. Damon took a deep breath before continuing. "How about this? Let me pay for it. All of it."_

"_Damon, no, I-"_

"_Please, Elena. I know how much going to school means to you. I could never let you drop out just because you couldn't afford it. And right now, you can't. You know I have enough money to do this! You never let me spoil you with it in the first place so let me do this. You only have a few semesters left. It'll barely leave a dent in my account. Let me do this for you."_

_Elena sighed and leaned into his chest as he rubbed his hands on her back. She was surrendering slowly. "Hell, Damon, I could never pay you back. You know that right?"_

"_Being with you every day is enough pay back for me, honey." Damon lifted Elena's chin so that she was looking directly at him. "I just want to make you as happy as you make me." Elena smiled softly, sticking her tongue out at him, and stood on her tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips, completely immersed in the warmth of his arms. _

Maybe it's the bitter wind

A chill from the Pacific Rim

That brought you this way

Do not make me think of him

The way he touch your fragile skin

That haunts me everyday

I'm out of love but I can't forget the past

I'm out of words but I'm sure it'll never last

"_Reservation under Gilbert," Elena spoke clearly to the obviously apathetic teenager at the hostess stand._

"_Is your other party member here?" the redhead said monotonously._

_Elena sighed and glanced around the crowded lobby of the restaurant. "I guess not. But he should arrive shortly."_

"_Follow me." The hostess led her to the table as if it was going to be the hardest thing she'd do all day. Elena followed behind her, her flowery almond-toe heels clicking against the tile floor. The table was in the back of the restaurant and Elena was thankful for the seclusion. As much as she was looking forward to the fancy date, she wanted this dinner to be all about them. _

_She'd tried her best to look as good as possible. She'd never been to the restaurant before but apparently it was a big hit with the rich and famous, if they ever did come to their small town. Damon had only told her to dress nicely but conservatively since the restaurant tended to also hold the old and judgmental. Elena had chosen a pink sheer long sleeve blouse paired with a pair of super-skinny black jeans to show off her shapely legs, one of Damon's favorite parts of her body. Her makeup consisted of a dark grey smoky eye and a nude lip while her hair was pulled up into a ponytail to show off the leafy patterned gold teardrop earrings that Damon had bought her only a week ago. As the months had gone on, she'd become more comfortable with his desire to spoil her. _

_She dug through her pale pink cross-body bag and located her phone, checking to see if she had any messages. Nothing. She sighed and flipped through the menu. Her class had gotten out early giving her enough time to get home and get read y much more quickly than expected. She looked for the dessert list first, as per usual. She always picked out her dessert first and then planned everything else she ordered around it. She scanned the list and smiled, seeing exactly what she wanted._

_Before the waitress could come and take her drink order, Damon came in, looking a bit more stressed than usual. The same teenage hostess led him back, but seemed a bit more enthusiastic to do so. It took a lot of strength for Elena not to laugh out loud seeing the girl's love struck, then hurt expression when he pecked Elena on the cheek before sitting down. Once the girl left, Damon barely glanced at Elena, just flipping through the menu until the waitress did come by. Her expression clearly showed that "teenage hostess extraordinaire" had informed the entirety of the female wait staff of the highly attractive man in the back. Damon ordered a Manhattan while Elena just ordered a glass of white wine._

"_Hun, are you okay?" Elena asked cautiously. The grimace hadn't left his face since he'd entered and she was worried that her evening wasn't going to be as pleasant as previously expected._

"_When I get my fucking drink, I will be." The comment stung a bit, but as if on cue, the waitress came with both of their drinks. Apparently Damon was motivation enough to work at a near inhuman pace._

"_Thanks, sweetheart," Damon winked at the girl who practically melted into a puddle on the floor. As she rushed off, Elena looked at Damon, now even more hurt than before. _

"_Sweetheart?" Her bitterness was not at all hidden._

_Damon's glance grew defensive. "It was nothing, Elena. Just giving her something to tell her friends about. No need to get your panties in a twist."_

_Elena balked. "I'm going to assume you had a really crappy day at work and are just too stressed to even contemplate what you're saying to me." She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "Can you please just tell me what happened so I can try to make you feel better?" She moved her hand across the table to caress his, but he yanked it away as if disgusted._

"_I find it hilarious that you can't handle me calling a fucking waitress a pet name when you're the one with multiple hour-long calls to your ex." He spat the words out in disgust, taking a huge gulp of his drink when he was finished._

_She was flabbergasted. "What are you-"_

"_Don't even pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. I pay your cell phone bill." His eyes held her gaze strongly and she could feel her skin overheating. She knew what he was saying was right, but she was shocked on how he was handling it._

"_I can't believe you'd throw that in my face. I never asked you to pay that." Damon scoffed, but she continued. "Wait, did you go searching through my phone records?"_

_He sneered again. "No, of course not. I just noticed your minutes went up an exorbitant amount and I wanted to make sure there wasn't an error." He paused to take another large sip. "Unfortunately, there wasn't." He stared her down from across the table, her mouth still ajar. She couldn't believe what was going on. "Are you not even going to deny it?"_

"_Damon, I'm not fucking cheating on you!" She realized her voice could easily be overheard, but thankfully the private corner they'd been placed in prevented that. She lowered it regardless. "I can't believe you would think that!"_

"_Then explain to me why you neglected to mention to me the hours you're spending on the phone with him."_

"_I didn't think it was vital information!"_

"_Hours, Elena! And for the past two weeks, it's been nearly every day. I'm sure his girlfriend wouldn't appreciate that."_

_Elena gulped, looking at his expression. She fidgeted with the napkin on the table. "Did you talk to her?"_

"_No." The bitterness in his tone stung. "But the way you're talking now, I damn well should have."_

"_No, Damon…"_

"_What are you possibly talking to him for hours about? It's obviously something you're not telling me because I don't recall the last time we had even an hour-long conversation."_

"_It's the anniversary!" She nearly screamed it. Those three words were definitely heard by nearby tables. Embarrassed by her outburst, she spoke much more quietly. Her voice broke as she spoke. "It's the anniversary," she repeated. "And I just wanted someone to talk to who'd been through it with me." She glanced up to see his expression. It was almost as if a completely different man was sitting in front of her. "I'm sorry, Damon, but he understands it better than you do. And you never seem too keen to talk about it either. I was just saving you from some of the burden."_

"_Elena," His voice was placating but she couldn't handle it. She stood up abruptly from the table right as the waitress approached._

"_Is there anything I can take care of?" Elena glared at the girl who was now wearing a look of "I heard the whole conversation and if they break up, I'll make my move on the hot one." Elena let out a bitter laugh._

"_I'm good…sweetheart." Her voice dripped with hatred on that last word, enough to put a little bit of fear in the girl's eyes. "But he'd love for you to take care of him." Damon was looking down at his feet, shame covering his face. "Goodnight, Damon." She shoved past the waitress and finally let the tears fall as she rushed out past the staring faces. The last thing she heard was the waitress muttering, "Bitch" under her breath._

And I've been saving

These last words for one last miracle

But now I'm not sure

I can't save you if

You don't let me

You just get me like I never

Been gotten before

Like I never been gotten before

_Elena couldn't just sit in the apartment and do nothing. No, when she was angry, she had to distract herself. She'd been worried about the massive amounts of work she had to do before the date but with her now free hours, she would be able to get most of it done. After speeding home, she changed into some more comfortable clothes, replacing her tight black jeans with a more comfortable pair of basic skinny jeans and replacing the pinching heels with a pair of tall brown boots. She thought about working at the apartment, but she was worried about running into him. So she stuffed all of the textbooks and notes she could find into a floral-print canvas bag and booked it to one of her favorite places in the world: the university library._

_It was a nook she'd discovered early on in the year. It was incredibly quiet and private, surrounded by archives that barely any classes required their students to touch so there were never any interruptions. Elena could get so much work done and just escape, completing task after task. As much as she didn't want to do the work, the feeling of accomplishment that washed over her when she walked away from that table after hours of studying or writing made her feel invincible. _

_She sat down in the hard wooden chair, the library fairly quiet as it was a Friday night. She pulled out one of the ancient Greek plays she was reading in her literature class. She knew that at some point in the next week there would be a spontaneous essay (that particular teacher's trademark) and she wanted to make sure she was prepared. But as she flipped to the place she'd left off, all she could see was Damon's face. First she saw the furious and accusatory one he'd started the night with, a glare that burned her skin just thinking about it. Then she saw his face when she'd finally broken down and explained the phone calls. As the memories flooded her, both the ones from that night and ones from months ago, she couldn't stop the fat tears from rolling down her face. _

_It was a silent cry, since she was in the library. But her vision grew blurry and the page in front of her hosted some of the tears as they fell from her cheeks. She sat for a few minutes and mourned them, something she really hadn't allowed herself to do recently. She stared at the ugly carpeting on the floor, allowing her body to tremble in its grief over the injustice she'd suffered._

_When she heard the footsteps approach her, she shifted her gaze to her reading, hoping that the dim lighting of the area and the person's distraction with their own work would keep their attention off of her meltdown. But she heard the individual settle down in the chair next to her. She let out a mental curse._

_She looked up, not needing to identify the person but simply just to see their face. Damon gazed at her with an expression filled with so much concern that it caused her tears to flow faster. She stared at him defiantly, almost showcasing the amount of distress she was feeling. It was a bit childish, but she wanted him to see just how badly she was hurting. _

"_Elena, I am so sorry." His own voice seemed to break in his strong apology. "I should never have jumped to the conclusions I did. I'm sorry I caused a scene in that restaurant. I'm sorry I flirted with that waitress. But most of all," he paused and took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry I made you feel like I didn't care about their deaths… that you felt like you couldn't talk to me about it kills me."_

_Elena looked at his sincere expression and felt the love in his tone. They hadn't said those particular words to each other, but she could feel them radiating off of him. She didn't respond, but she already knew that her heart had forgiven him. Her stubborn child-like brain was the one that still desired to continue her fit. _

_He picked up a Styrofoam box off of the chair next to him that he must have brought in without her noticing. He slid it over to her and pulled a silver fork out of his back pocket, placing it on top. She warily reached for it, and opened the lid._

"_I stole that fork from the restaurant, and I'm pretty sure they're going to bill my card, but hey, who doesn't need a fifty dollar fork?" His tone was joking and it was hard for Elena to keep the smile off of her face. Especially since, sitting in front of her was a piece of blackberry cobbler dripping with ice cream. "I'm sorry. It melted a bit on the way here because I went to check the apartment first."_

_She paused and looked up at him. "Damon, you know I can't stand cobbler..."_

_He looked at her in shock and then started stuttering. "Crap, I'm so sorry, Elena. I'll go get something else. I think there was like a crème brulee and a chocolate pie and maybe there was some sort of ice cream thing but I could call and check on my way there-"_

"_Damon!" she interrupted, lightly laughing. She took his hand that was resting on the table, similarly to the way she'd tried to do at the restaurant, but this time he intertwined his fingers with hers. "You would really go all the way back to the restaurant to get me dessert?"_

_Damon didn't hesitate. "Of course. It's my fault you didn't eat, and I would've brought you a fucking five course meal but I know you'd just rather skip to the dessert… unless you do want a full dinner because I can do that too-"_

_Elena interrupted him with a kiss, pressing her lips to his while taking her other hand to his cheek. He was surprised at first but then relaxed into it, softly kissing her back. _

_She pulled away and stroked her thumb on his soft, partially stubbly chin. "You were going to drive all the way back to that restaurant and get me a completely new dessert knowing full well that I practically made myself sick eating all that cobbler you made me last week."_

_Damon smiled a bit. "Yeah, I assumed you were either stringing me along or I'd had some sort of stroke and had my signals mixed up." She smiled, pecking his lips once more and then grabbed the fork and began to dig into the now almost completely melted dessert._

"_I guess we'll have to share the fork," Elena said handing it off to him._

"_Actually," he smiled and pulled another matching fork out of the same place. "I'm about to be billed double."_

_Elena giggled. "Oh my god, only you would steal two forks that are worth a hundred dollars just to make me happy."_

"_Honey, I would steal a million dollars' worth of forks to make you happy."_

_They both looked at each other for a moment with serious expressions and then simultaneously fake gagged, giggling even more. They equally shared a dislike over those especially mushy couples but loved to throw the lines out there just to make fun of them. But deep down, they both knew that they meant each and every one of them._

_She noticed he was looking at her with a goofy grin on his face. "What?" she asked self-consciously._

"_Nothing…" He smirked, grabbing another bite. "Just remembering how you eat dessert like a hoover vacuum." She balked, pretending to be highly offended but again having difficulty keeping the grin off of her face. "Hates cobbler, my ass." She lightly punched his arm and smirked as he rubbed it, immensely grateful to be in her favorite place with her favorite person._

So nice to see you face again

But tell me will this ever end?

Don't disappear

_When they got back to the apartment, they fell into their typical routine. Not much studying had occurred once they'd finished the dessert. Instead he spent most of his time kissing the back of her neck as she read the same sentences over and over again, barely finishing three pages. They each got ready in the bathroom separately, as there was only one sink and then got into the large bed once they'd finished. Elena was first out of the bathroom so she curled up under the covers, waiting patiently for Damon to join her. Tonight wasn't going to be about sex. No, Elena's ever increasing heartbeat was telling her tonight was going to be a lot more important than that. _

_When he finally did finish, he slid in next to her, each facing the other. They basked in the other's presence for a few moments, occasionally running their fingers over the other's skin or lightly kissing the other's hand. Finally, Elena worked up the courage and began to speak._

_Once the words started, they didn't stop. No detail of the story was spared. She talked about the phone call and how painful it had been to hear those words. She talked about her grief over losing the people she loved the most. She talked about the painful months that'd followed, and even discussed how much her ex had helped her, in ways she'd only realized now. Yet, Damon didn't flinch. He didn't interrupt. He didn't grow bored. He stared at her intensely, their fingers intertwined in between their bodies. When she grew emotional or couldn't find the right words, he'd kiss her palm. It was an encouragement, an encouragement to continue while at the same time an encouragement to stop and just wrap herself in his arms and fall asleep if that's what she needed._

_Even on her death bed, she'd never forget that night. She'd never forget the night she knew she'd truly fallen in love with Damon Salvatore. _

And I've been saving

These last words for one last miracle

But now I'm not sure

I can't save you if

You don't let me

You just get me like I never

Been gotten before

Like I never been gotten before

**I really do hope you liked this chapter. I wanted to give you guys an opportunity to see what Damon and Elena's relationship is really like. Yes, there's fighting, but they're both incredibly passionate. Yes, they make fun of the cheesy couples, but honestly, they are that couple.**

**Again, I apologize if I came off as extremely rude in the above. I just love this story so much and I want to finish it so badly. I need your feedback to keep it alive and to keep my writing in check.**

**I love you all and hope you have a fantastic week.**

**P.S. I also wrote my first one-shot this week if you would like to read something a bit different by me. It's how I hope the Delena scene in 3x21 goes down.**


	6. Chapter 6: Too Much Between Us

**Hey hey beautiful, fabulous readers! So, I first want to start this chapter off by saying how grateful I am for the amount of reviews I got this week. I'm sorry I freaked out last week, but you guys definitely brought it back with some fantastic reviews that were very helpful and encouraging so I'm appreciative for every single one. I really do have just the most incredible readers.**_  
><em>

**So this chapter was difficult to write, but surprisingly enough is about 1,000 words longer than the typical chapter. There's a bit of a time jump here, but this story jumps all over the place anyways so it shouldn't be too disconcerting. We're definitely going to get more of a glimpse into Elena and also a big old secret is revealed so I hope you guys enjoy.**

**There's only 1 more chapter left (craziness I know), but it's the chapter I'm the most excited to write. I love you all and hope you enjoy the finale this week!**

**And remember, reviews are the Delena to my TVD finale (come on, you know our ship OWNS the finales) :) **

_There__'__s you, you__'__re sleeping over there_

_Whilst me I__'__m sitting here_

_With so much sea between us_

_I can__'__t make it much more clear_

_There__'__ll be no time for crying_

_We won__'__t make it more than six_

_I could change my plea to guilty_

_But I don__'__t think it would stick_

_Still those other ratings far too easy to despise_

_You__'__ve said so much in silence now I truly am disguised_

Elena threw another stack of books on top of the already large pile she was required to sort through. She'd spent her morning digging through the stacks, looking for any book that seemed older than ten years. The store needed to clean out some of its older, less desirable inventory in order to make way for a new children's section and more self-help books. The surveys they'd handed out to customers after their purchases over the past month had shown that people had a) a lot of kids and b) a lot of issues.

Elena tucked a strand of her wavy hair that had fallen out of her French braided ponytail behind her ear and headed over to the front desk's computer, checking to make sure there weren't any more requests for a book to be reserved. Since the latest teen series was planning on releasing their newest book in the next week, the store had to be in tip-top shape for the massive influx of people that would be coming in. They'd most likely be sorely disappointed though. The amount of emails she'd been getting for pre-orders made it look like they'd be sold out within the first hour of opening.

Elena didn't realize how much she'd like this job until she'd gotten it. The elderly woman that owned it determined that Elena was a wholesome girl "unlike the other heathens in this town." Mrs. Powell said she was just growing tired and couldn't be in the store as much as she'd like. Actually, Elena knew exactly what Mrs. Powell's motive was. According to the mail that the bookstore was receiving, she was planning on retiring and leaving the store to someone else. Elena had grown nervous when she learned that, realizing that said "someone else" would most likely be her. She was fearful of the sense of calm she'd felt understanding her entire future could possibly already be planned out. Was that really what she wanted for the rest of her life? Running a bookstore in a small town? That definitely hadn't been what she'd gone to school for. But maybe having a steady job in the town where she'd grown up would be a good thing.

Elena had really needed the job when they'd stopped searching. After nine months, the case had been closed. It was shorter than the typical missing person scenario, but in their small town and with absolutely _no_ viable leads they didn't see any reason to go on. Thankfully, they hadn't declared him legally dead… yet. That typically occurred around the seven year mark. Elena cringed just remembering how far gone she'd been when they'd announced it. She was fairly sure even Caroline had wanted to give up on her. But fortunately, Elena had received some sort of epiphany, woke up one morning, and started, well, living again. She wore Caroline-approved clothes, cooked full meals without a microwave, and could go a full five days without crying. At the moment, she was trying to beat her record of two weeks.

Stefan had left shortly after the grocery store incident. Apparently Elena's words to him that evening had shaken him and he finally decided it was time to go back to his own home. He called occasionally, sent small trinkets on her birthday and Christmas, and of course had come back for the weekend when the cops had declared they'd stopped searching. But other than that, his absence had proved helpful. He seemed to serve as a constant reminder of what had occurred and all that she'd lost.

"Briing briing!" Elena's head shot up, hearing the shrill mocking of a bell that Caroline provided whenever she entered the store. "Still haven't added one I see? Doesn't matter, I love making the sound effects." Her grin was wide as she carried in two to-go cups of coffee. "And how are you doing today, sexy?" Elena let out a laugh at her friend's exaggerated wink following her words.

"I'm doing fine. The place is a ghost town, but it's actually working to my advantage." She nodded towards the large pile of books she'd collected over the few hours she'd been here.

"I do not envy you, sister." Caroline popped up onto one of the stools behind the desk, handing Elena the hot drink. Caroline crossed her tan legs. Now that summer had arrived, Caroline was constantly visiting the book store, since her only obligation was a laidback job at a local clothing store three times a week. Other than visiting Elena and folding tee shirts, she spent her time tanning at the pool or going to parties. If Caroline did enough coaxing, Elena would join her, but most of the time, Elena just spent her free time writing, practicing new recipes, or watching a TV series from start to finish.

"So, any particular reason for your visit today?" Elena asked, taking a large sip of her drink.

"Just wanted to bring a treat to my best friend. I would have gotten you iced coffee, but this place is always as freezing as a meat locker." She indicated Elena's white jeans and slouchy gray cardigan she was required to wear over her neon tank top. "I don't understand how a woman who isn't even here gets full reign of the thermostat. You work for a fucking psychopath."

Elena's eyes bulged out and she lifted her finger up in a shushing motion. It took Caroline a second to realize exactly what her friend meant, but she gasped and covered her mouth with both of her hands.

"Where is she?" Caroline half whispered, half hissed.

"At home, presumably. I just wanted to screw with you."

Caroline let out a growl and slapped Elena's arm. "You're a horrible person. You know that right?"

"You remind me every damn day," Elena replied, a large cheesy grin covering her face.

"Well, I was going to extend an incredibly gracious invitation to you, but with that attitude…"

Elena rolled her eyes and gave into her friend's lack of subtlety. "What, Caroline?"

Caroline smiled, satisfied with the small victory. "A couple of friends from school are meeting up at this bar downtown and they invited both of us to join them."

Elena glanced at her friend, completely unconvinced. "They invited both of us?"

Caroline squirmed a bit. "Well, not exactly, but they did invite me…" Elena interrupted her with a groan "and I'm certain they would love to have you be there. You would remember them. Hell, I think one or two were even in your Euro class."

"Caroline, nobody wants to hang out with the girl with the missing boyfriend," Elena replied. It was true. She knew the rumors that were going around. The nicer people just always looked at her with that pitying gaze. The others just looked at her like she was crazy for thinking he was still alive. A select few even thought she'd done it. But lots of police questioning and a video camera outside her apartment complex had proved that she hadn't snapped and offed her lover, like every Lifetime movie made it out to be.

"Elena, these are the good ones. We're just going to have a low-key, get buzzed kind of night and I want my friend to be there. Besides, Shelby got the ugliest dye job and you just have to see it."

Elena sighed. She didn't know why, but she did feel a strong urge to celebrate… and not because of Shelby's bad hair. Maybe it was the fact that she'd cooked all her meals this week or that she should be able to get the inventory done by closing. Or maybe it was her new crying record. Yeah, that was probably it. She hadn't gone out with these people in almost a month. She'd earned it. Elena was also drawn to the normalcy of it. _This is what people your age do, _she thought. _Rise from the ashes and be the person you want to be._

* * *

><p>"Wesley!" Caroline squealed, leaping at a well-dressed guy with curly hair. They hadn't been at the bar for more than two seconds before Caroline switched into crazy-mode. The first time she'd met him, Elena had assumed he was Caroline's new boy-toy but she'd learned fairly soon after she was wrong after she ran into him making out with a male waiter by the bathrooms.<p>

After he kissed Elena on the cheek, he introduced both of them to Denver, whom he'd met while studying abroad. Elena was a bit relieved that there was at least one person in the group that didn't know about her past, but not a second later did he lean in to hug her and convey how sorry he was for what she'd been through. She instantly began to wonder exactly what and how Wesley had told Denver, but she was distracted by the glaringly shitty red hair that flashed into her peripheral.

"Shelby," Caroline smiled. Elena had to laugh at how her best friend was pointedly avoiding looking at the other girl's tacky hair. Once they'd all settled in, and been joined by another girl Elena partially knew, Danielle, they ordered a round of beers and Elena did what she did best: listened. She never really had anything to include (she didn't think saying she'd watched an entire season of Gilmore Girls in the past week was a fascinating conversation topic) so she would sit quietly, laughing when necessary. Occasionally, she would glaze over, people watching and admiring the different posters and plaques hanging up on the walls. The little bar had character. She wasn't sure if she'd ever been in it, but she knew that this place was a college haven, being located only five minutes from campus. She became a bit nostalgic, thinking about what she'd been like when she was a student and how much she'd enjoyed her classes, even though they'd been hellish to get through sometimes.

Elena cleared her throat, interrupting her own depressing thoughts. She would not break her streak tonight. "I want shots."

The group, who'd been having an entirely unrelated conversation, turned to look at her oddly. She spoke louder. "Sorry, but I haven't been out in weeks and I want to have a good time and for that to happen… I'm gonna need some shots."

The group stared at her for a few more seconds, trying to determine if she was serious until they were suddenly interrupted. "Finally!" Shelby shouted. The rest of the group burst into laughter as Caroline pushed off of her bar stool, flagging down the bartender with an obnoxious arm wave and flirtatiously ordering shots for everyone. She sat back down, squeezing Elena's arm and smiling. Elena was going to be the girl they wanted back. Elena was going to be fun.

* * *

><p>Elena had lost her ring within the hour. She'd proposed to the bartender and chucked her ring at him, but it landed in an unknown location. Thankfully, it'd been pretty cheap. The entire group was about as wasted as she was. Danielle had located some hot co-ed and determined that the corner of the bar was as good a make-out spot as any. Shelby had broken one of the lamps over the pool table, and amazingly enough hadn't been kicked out. Denver was a screamer, yelling almost every word he said. Wesley had attempted karaoke, and was surprisingly a better singer drunk than he was sober. Caroline and Elena had been his backup dancers, moving around like complete idiots to the catcalls of the other guys in the bar.<p>

Elena headed back to the bar, going to check to make sure Caroline's purse was still there, per her best friend's request. She shoved through the astonishingly large group of people, the majority of which were gathered around the stage waiting to see who would attempt to sing next. There was practically nobody sitting at the bar. Elena smiled, grateful that her friend's purse was still there and was about to turn back and give her own shot at singing when she spotted him.

"Stefan."

He was sitting on the opposite side, staring at his drink. He didn't seem to be with anyone, but maybe he'd brought a girl who was now somewhere in the crowd. Elena could barely breathe. What was he doing here? And, more painfully, why did he come here without telling her?

Elena's fight or flight response kicked in and she darted for Caroline, shoving apart some sweaty grinding couple in order to get to the blonde who was chatting up some guys at the pool table. "Care!" She grasped her friend's arm, yanking her aside. "Stefan is here!"

Caroline's eyes bugged open. "Shut the fuck up! Where?" Elena pointed clumsily back towards the bar and gasped loudly when she saw him. "Goddamn, he is so hot, sitting there all broodily." Elena hit her friend's arm.

"What do I do?" Elena was panicked. She could barely handle having a normal conversation with him in a right state of mind, let alone when she could barely walk straight.

"I don't know!" Caroline giggled.

"But-" Caroline apparently was distracted by the beer pong game occurring in the back and cheered, seeing Shelby miss. Elena called after her friend as she darted off, but realized it was hopeless. Caroline was useless at being helpful when she was drunk. Elena knew she couldn't avoid him. It would be far more uncomfortable if he approached her. Besides, now she was starting to get a bit pissed that he'd declined to inform her of his visit.

She began to walk towards him, and as she did, the alcohol began to provide that liquid confidence she so desperately craved. Once close enough, she tapped his shoulder cheekily, smirking when he turned to face her with an uneasy expression.

"Well, look who the fuck it is." Elena stumbled on her words a bit, partially from the alcohol and partially from her nervousness.

"Elena, hey." He looked like he wanted to crawl out of his skin. "You found me."

Elena cocked her head. "Wait, you knew I was here?"

Stefan let out a laugh. "Yeah, you…uh… made your presence fairly well known." Elena blushed. "Nice dancing skills, by the way."

"Thanks," she replied quietly. She felt her politeness slowly fading away. She sat next to him on the stool, motioning the bartender to slide another shot down to her. She gulped it down, flirtatiously thanking the bartender akin to how Caroline had earlier in the evening, and then turned back to Stefan. "So any particular reason you didn't want to let me know you were in town? Too busy to call…Slip me a text?"

"Elena-" She didn't like his pitying expression, so she interrupted him.

"Did you just not want to see me?" Elena couldn't believe how hurt she sounded. At the moment, she would blame it on the alcohol, but later, she'd realize she genuinely wanted him to want to.

Stefan stared at his drink again, a light beer that was almost empty. He seemed far more together than she was, so she presumed that could have been the only drink he'd had. "I had to be here for it." He spoke quietly and somberly. "I just… didn't think you'd want to celebrate with me."

Elena's brain was foggy enough as it is without his vagueness added to it. "Wait, what are you talking about? Be here for what?"

Stefan turned his head slowly towards her, his expression a mix of confusion and surprise. "It's his birthday, Elena."

Her heart stopped. Now that it was about 12:45am, it was officially July 11th. She couldn't catch her breath and the bar spun around her. She'd forgotten his fucking birthday. How in the world had she done that? God, how _could_ she have done that? It was official: she was the worst girlfriend in the history of girlfriends.

"Oh my god, I think I'm gonna be sick," Elena said, clutching her stomach.

"No, Elena," Stefan said, grabbing her hand that was resting on the wooden counter. He didn't look upset or angry that she'd forgotten. In fact, he looked fairly envious. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I just assumed that was the reason you were here. You would have remembered at some point today, I'm sure."

Elena cursed, feeling the tears build up in her eyes. She didn't want to break her streak. She refused to. She looked up at him. "Do you want a drink?"

"Um, I have a drink."

She scoffed. "A real damn drink."

He hesitated, glancing down at the beer once again and then sighing. "Yeah… I think I need it."

* * *

><p>Another hour in and things had gone from safe to dangerous. Elena knew in her heart that the evening wasn't headed in a good direction, but unfortunately her heart was losing against the large amounts of alcohol she'd consumed. She'd cut herself off, but was still enjoying its effects while sitting with Stefan at the bar. He was just as gone as she was now, both laughing at things that weren't funny and getting overly thrilled when one of their favorite songs came on. They'd shared secrets they'd both be embarrassed about in the morning, but Elena was thankful that she was finally having fun with Stefan. It had seemed practically impossible before.<p>

"Do you know you look really hot tonight?" Stefan said suddenly.

"Oh, please. Of course I know," Elena replied cheekily. She'd wanted to look good tonight. That's what normal girls in their twenties did when they went to bars: they dressed up as sexily as they possibly could. She wore the same pink tank top from this morning but had paired it with a formfitting mini skirt and neon turquoise strappy platform heels. In the course of the evening, the neon tank had slid down lower, revealing more of her olive skin and ample cleavage and the plain black skirt had slid higher, showing off her smooth long legs. "Everyone in this bar is soooo jealous of us!" she giggled.

"_Us_?" Stefan laughed. "I'm wearing a fucking t-shirt and jeans. I would wear this outfit to… take out the trash."

"Nuh-uh, Stefan. Every girl in this bar wants you and every guy in this bar wants me. It's a fact. Whether or not you would wear that to take out the trash doesn't mean you don't look damn good in it."

Yep, this was dangerous. This was more than dangerous, it was just plain risky. But yet she continued to sit on that barstool, even though her group had left almost a half hour earlier. She continued to flirt and giggle her way through their conversation. She continued to be incredibly vulnerable and open to her boyfriend's brother.

"So he's my ex, isn't he?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like what do I call him? Is he my ex-boyfriend? Or is he still my boyfriend, but he went missing and was never found? Because that's really long to say every time somebody asks if you're taken" She was shocked she could speak so bluntly about his disappearance.

"Hmmm… I would say _former_ boyfriend."

"Former…" Elena tested the word out. "Perfect. See, this is why I always liked you."

"Bullshit. You didn't always like me."

"Well, I only just met you a year ago. Besides, the circumstances weren't the best for burgeoning friendships."

She noticed Stefan flinch at her words. The smile he'd been wearing for the past forty-five minutes suddenly faded. "Oh, what's wrong pouty? Your buzz wearing off?"

He let out a brief laugh that sounded more forced than normal. "Come on, Stefan. You can tell me whatever you want." She grinned. "Cause, you know, we're super _close_ and everything."

"I saw you first."

Stefan looked shocked at his own words. He couldn't look at Elena, either, just staring at the bar as if he were trying to burn a hole through it.

"What do you mean?" Elena's tone was frustrated. "I can't do… vague right now."

Stefan took a deep breath before speaking again. "I was with him when he first saw you. Actually, I saw you first and pointed you out…" He finally looked to see Elena's reaction. "That's my fucking secret," he said bitterly. "That's why I never came to meet you when you two were dating. That's why I rarely talked to him… because I was jealous."

Elena stuttered. She couldn't believe she was hearing this. "Wait, did he know this?"

Stefan's laugh was as bitter as his tone. "Of course he did. The only reason he went up to you in the first place was because he knew I saw you first." He spat out the last words.

Elena felt sick again and Stefan noticed her change in mood as well. "I'm sorry… I just… He wasn't perfect, Elena. It's hard to see that when he's gone and you miss him, but… he was possessive and jealous and he could be an asshole!"

Elena couldn't hear it anymore. She pushed herself up from the bar and headed towards the door. She prayed he wouldn't follow her as she walked into the neighboring alley and leaned her body back against the brick wall. She hated that she lived in the South because it was hotter outside than it was in the crowded bar. She stared up at the sky, trying to catch her breath.

She didn't want to hear it, but she knew it was true. She could tell it was true. Hell, she wasn't stupid. Her _former boyfriend_ wasn't perfect.

She didn't want Stefan to follow her either, but he did. Of course, he did. He was unfailingly polite and considerate. Of course he was going to make sure she got home safely and that he apologized to her. Of course, he was gonna find her in the alley way.

She didn't want him to follow her because she knew exactly how dangerous it was. She didn't want him to follow her because she knew she was drunk and he was attractive and she was vulnerable and he'd been screwed over and if she was alone with him, she'd forget about consequences and regret and guilt and let the alcohol pumping through her bloodstream dictate her actions.

But that night she didn't get what she wanted. She remembered her boyfriend could be an asshole. Stefan followed her out to tell her he was sorry for saying what he said and offered her a ride home. He got too damn close and smelled too damn good and she kissed him. She kissed him hard… and he kissed her back.

Stefan pushed her back into the wall as their tongues fought for dominance. It was brutal, each participant letting out their anger and frustration with how much shit life had thrown at them. Elena pulled at his hair with her fingers as Stefan ran his hands anywhere he so desired: her waist, her bare arms, her ass. She knew her lips would be bruised and swollen because this kiss was far from gentle. It was far more need-based than want.

The kiss ended, though. Elena didn't jump up and wrap her legs around his waist. Stefan didn't grope her chest or offer to take her back to his hotel. They just stopped, Stefan slowing his pace as he kissed down her neck. He pulled himself away as she adjusted her tank top so her bra was no longer showing. They stood there in silence for a few moments, each collecting themselves before they made their way back home.

* * *

><p>Stefan gave her a ride since Caroline was long gone. The kiss had taken all of her buzz away, but she was already anxious for the hangover that awaited her in the morning. They didn't speak the entire way there. He knew how to get to her apartment and didn't even say goodbye when he pulled up. She was incredibly thankful for the silence, though. She couldn't imagine talking to him about it at that point. She could barely fathom exactly what had happened herself so "the talk" would have to wait.<p>

She got into her comfiest pajamas, grateful she didn't have to work the next morning. But as she was sliding into bed, her cell phone rang. The cell phone that was all the way in the kitchen charging.

She groaned loudly, not wanting to speak to the person on the other end. She suspected it was either Stefan or Caroline. If it was Stefan, he would probably pull some martyr crap, apologizing a thousand times over for how horrible he was as if he'd tackled her and forced her to make out with him. If it was Caroline, she'd ask a million different questions, and Elena did not feel like informing her of the tonsil hockey she'd played with her best friend's quasi-ex.

But she didn't recognize the number on the caller ID. She thought about not answering it, but considered that it could be the bar as it was a local area code. Maybe she'd left something else there or they'd actually found her ring.

"Hello?" She spoke groggily into the receiver.

"Yes, is this Elena Gilbert?" The male voice on the other line sounded far more official than the young bartender.

"Um, yeah it is. Who is this?"

"It's Chief Branford. I'm sorry to call you so late, but we think you might want to come in."

Elena was officially done with the evening. She'd gotten completely drunk, made out with _Stefan_, and was now being prevented from sleeping by the same cops who'd decided they were too lazy to continue looking for her former boyfriend.

"Sir, I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I've had a really shitty day and I don't care to drive all the way down there simply to be told that some eighty year old man _might_ have seen him at a gas station in Utah." Elena Gilbert had never spoken this way to a cop. But Elena Gilbert had also never been drunk while speaking to a cop.

"Ms. Gilbert, I really think you should come down." He paused and took a deep breath, suddenly much quieter and much more serious. "I'm really not allowed to tell you this over the phone but… we found a body. We need you to come down to the station to ID it."

_Let him who fears his heart alone_

_Stand up and make a speech_

_For him perhaps an emperor__'__s throne_

_If he could only speak_

_Far too few and far to follow_

_For shame I__'__ll heed the cry_

_Be with me when I need a drink_

_Be with me when I die_

_Still those other ratings far too easy to despise_

_You__'__ve said so much in silence now indeed I am disguised_

**Wow, so lots of stuff happened in this chapter. Now I know... I know this is not looking good, but all I am asking is that you read the final chapter. It is the chapter I am most looking forward to writing, and I am fairly sure none of you will be disappointed with how it goes. So please do not be deterred by what all just happened. Remember: it is a mystery fic and everything. is. not. what. it. seems.**

**Other than that, I do really like this chapter, and think this chapter is important to really see Elena's journey as a character. She wants to be normal, she wants to have fun, and gosh darnit she's gonna get drunk with her friends. I know you probably aren't thrilled by the Stelena but I would appreciate your opinions on my writing and drunk Elena. **

**One more chapter. All I ask. You will understand after one more chapter. :) ****  
><strong>

**love love love :)**


	7. Chapter 7: Better

**Guess who decided to be the nicest FF writer ever and upload four days early? This girl. In actuality, with the way the reviews were going, you all sound like you were about to kill me because of the direction this story was going and I'd like to live a wee bit longer so I thought I might as well placate the angry mobs hahaha. But for realz, this story has gotten the most PASSIONATE response ever. I'm just going to take that as a compliment though. :) You guys are still the best readers on the whole internet hahahaa.**

**But really, I AM SO PUMPED FOR THIS CHAPTER. That's a lie because I was pumped writing this chapter but right now I'm just incredibly nervous to hear all of your responses. Because this is what the story has been culminating towards and the part I've been the most excited for and yeah, if you guys hate it... well... OK I can't even go there, because I have so much hope that you guys will like it.**

**Here are the final three things I will tell you before you start:**

**1) Keep reading until the end, even if something seems off. I repeat, KEEP READING UNTIL THE VERY END.**

**2) I will most likely be doing a Q&A chapter after this so if you have any questions for me or confusions, leave them in the reviews so I may address them properly and publicly.**

**3) When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me ;) And you guys assumed BIG TIME.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 7: Better<p>

_Our love has changed,_

_It's not the same,_

_And the only way to say it_

_Is say it's better._

"You cannot be serious," Elena whined, looking at her alarm clock. It had to be a mistake. It couldn't actually be time for her to wake up. But unless she was part of a Twilight Zone-esque time warp, it was indeed 7:30. She groaned louder and then pushed herself up out of her bed, stumbling towards the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror for a few moments, admiring her clearer skin and shinier hair. Now that she'd actually started to care about her appearance, she was buying products with criteria other than "cheapest." Thankfully, her hard work was starting to show.

In celebration of this, she decided to dress up. She'd heard rumor that the Southern heat would provide a surprisingly warm December day so she went back to her room to check the weather on her phone. Sure enough, it was going to be almost eighty degrees. She laughed a bit at the ridiculousness, but didn't question it. She abhorred the cold.

Elena took a quick shower and headed towards her closet, choosing a thin floral dress and gladiator sandals. She curled her hair and applied very light natural makeup. The process went by much more quickly than it typically did, thanks to all the practice she'd had recently. It seemed like she felt in the mood to look good nearly every day these past few weeks. She rolled her eyes, realizing she could never admit that to Caroline unless she wanted to hear "I told you so" a million times over.

Once she'd added her accessories, a big slouchy scarf in a neutral tone and beaded bangles, she rushed into the kitchen to feed her ever-hungry cat and herself. She cursed, noticing how much her primping had left her running behind, so she grabbed a granola bar and some coffee, shoved her books and notes into her hot pink satchel and rushed out the door.

_I can't concede,_

_This way I feel,_

_For all the time we spent, together,_

_Forever just gets better._

As much as she wasn't pleased with the early morning wake-up calls, she loved going to class again. She'd known deep down inside that the book store wasn't enough for her, yet she'd continued to work there for much longer than she should have. She'd been sitting at the front counter one day in early August when two girls from the university had walked in. Elena had no clue what had drawn her to them, but she was enthralled with their conversation, listening to them go on and on about their classes and the dorms and the parties. She nearly scoffed when she heard them bitch about the amount of work they were going to have. At that point, she would have killed to have her biggest worry be the paper due the next day.

That moment was the moment when Elena realized she was in the wrong place. What exactly was stopping her from being that girl? She shakily typed her username and password into the computer for her bank account and learned she'd accumulated a lot. Her first time at college had been paid for so any spare money she'd earned had been thrown into her bank account. She could probably pay for the first few semesters, if she kept this job and maybe even got another. That thought made her pause: she could be a student again. She could learn again… learn whatever she wanted.

So she did it. She gathered all the money she could and went straight to the registrar. Thankfully, it was a small university, a school that knew Elena and her dilemma and they allowed her to take a few select classes without applying again. A few were repeats from her previous year as she'd dropped out before she could receive any credit. She wasn't permitted to live on-campus or receive any financial aid, but she didn't mind. She didn't want to leave her apartment and she hadn't really expected any sort of help. She knew that if she wanted to do this, she was going to have to work her ass off. But it would be worth it.

_See what I'm trying to say is:_

_You make things better_

_And no matter what the day is,_

_With you here it's better._

And work she did. Getting back into the habit of studying was a process, especially now that she was juggling working at both the book store and a local restaurant as a waitress. Mrs. Powell had begrudgingly allowed her to lessen her hours, hiring another new college student to take over when Elena couldn't be there. Her teachers, also sympathetic to her plight, were willing to meet with her outside of class and extend their office hours if need be. Elena, in return, would bake various treats for them as reimbursement, recipes she'd racked up when she was in her more fragile state.

Elena arrived at her class with ten minutes to spare. Now that she'd lived without it, she realized just how much she'd taken college for granted. She recalled how much she adored writing and her love of analyzing really good books. She wasn't as big a fan of her mathematics or science classes, but she dealt with them just like any other student would.

She still didn't feel like she exactly belonged there. She would come into class, sit in the front, and typically just surf the internet or check email until they started. She had very few friends in her classes, just a couple she could get notes from or ask basic questions to. Caroline was farther ahead of her, and, hell, any time she wasn't in class she was with Stefan.

God, Stefan. What a mess that had been. That night she'd kissed him in the parking lot had been… well, insane. That was the night everything had turned upside down. The night that the final brick had been laid down and she'd had to face the fact she'd been denying for so long. The fact that they wouldn't find her boyfriend, they would find his body.

_I'll stand by you,_

_If you stand by me._

_I think time that I, reveal it,_

_'Coz I believe it_

_It's better_

Identifying the body had been the worst part. Elena didn't tell anybody where she was going. She knew she had to do it alone. So she went to that police station with shaky knees, walked into that room, and had to say, yes, that's him. Even worse was the fact that he was hard to identify because of how long it had been, how much decay had already occurred. So much so that they had to do a DNA test just to make sure she was correct.

They'd had a funeral, a small one. Neither she nor Stefan was interested in having to deal with a huge thing, even though Caroline offered to coordinate every last detail. Besides, they'd already had to endure that candlelight vigil early on, the one filled to the brim with complete strangers to Elena, ones she would never see again.

That was when she and Stefan became… well, there wasn't a word for what they became. The best she could do was "distraction seeking fuck buddies." After the funeral, Stefan suddenly decided he was moving to their small town. He got a job in a larger city nearby and began to "hang out" with Elena, each stealthily deciding to ignore that the first kiss ever happened.

But the discovery of the body had allowed for more police investigation and one last phone call another month later. This time, Elena and Stefan went in together. A mugging. A 100 percent random fucking mugging with a well-hidden body. Although they couldn't identify who had done it, who had fired the multiple shots, they simply assumed it was a desperate person who needed the money for drugs. That was the night she'd stepped into dangerous territory and allowed Stefan to come home with her.

After that, they spent a few months "dating," if you could call it that. They each just wanted something to focus on besides the fact they'd lost someone they'd loved. On top of that, they'd spent months over-analyzing every little detail when, in the end, he was just randomly shot the same day he disappeared. There was one night where they both agreed, in a drunken haze, that it was most likely his fault. He was probably highly uncooperative, refusing to just do what the other guy said. They'd even laughed over how stubborn he was.

_See what I'm trying to say is:_

_You make things better_

_And no matter what the day is,_

_With you here it's better_

It was a mistake. Elena knew that now. She'd ended it about six weeks earlier. Thankfully, Stefan had been more than happy to stop as well. In fact, barely two weeks later, he and Caroline were an item. Elena hadn't been upset, just surprised. Looking back now, she realized there were countless signs that indicated that they both still held feelings for the other. As much as Care liked to deny it, she'd loved her sweatpants phase. Now they were practically inseparable. Elena occasionally joined them for outings, but hated third-wheeling, especially with their incredibly awkward history so she typically declined their polite invitations.

For now, Elena was okay with being alone. She was able to focus on herself, working on a healing process that would take a long while. Stefan had been a part of that, and as much as it was a mistake to sleep with him, it had helped her. If she had to have had a rebound, she was thankful it was him and not some random guy who could have just as easily broken her heart again. Besides, amidst their countless sexual encounters, they'd been able to have therapeutic conversations, ones that helped both of them through their grief. Stefan had been her rock, and for that she was grateful.

* * *

><p>Elena finally had an afternoon off. She was planning on having coffee with Caroline, to catch up and have some girl time, but she'd given herself about an hour of free time in between. She contemplated just going home, but she felt a strange longing to go to the graveyard. She rarely got the chance to go see them anymore, and she was only about five minutes away. So Elena chucked her books in the back of her car and started to head in the direction of the memorial park.<p>

_Ooh the more I talk to you_

_The more in love with_

_Everything you do_

Once she arrived, it was as if on autopilot. She knew exactly where the graves were. In fact, she could probably tell someone, in order, the names of the people that were buried along the route to the graves. When her parents had died, she'd gone nearly every day, not quite willing or able to let them go. Hell, she was even recognized by other mourners occasionally. That probably wouldn't happen today though, as there were only one or two others in the park.

She stared at the three graves, one with much fresher soil than the other two. When they realized he'd had no prior burial arrangements, Elena, with Stefan's blessing, had been able to bury him next to her parents. It seemed strange, yes, but the burial site with his and Stefan's parents was already full anyways. Besides, according to Stefan, he'd always liked this town a lot more than the one he'd grown up in. Elena dropped her satchel on the ground and walked up to each of the graves individually. As per her typical routine, she ran her fingers over each of the names.

**_Grayson Gilbert_**

**_Miranda Gilbert_**

**_Elijah Mikaelson_**

Elena sighed, taking a deep breath, and then continued. She began to talk, just basic conversations. She knew she looked ridiculous, holding a conversation with damn tombstones, but she'd realized how much she needed this time to just release all that was pent up. As much as she got comfort from talking to them and feeling like they were listening, they were simply stones, stones that couldn't judge or disagree. And Elena took that as a blessing.

Elena spoke about whatever came to mind. She talked about Ula and her fears that she was getting too friendly with a male cat a few apartments down. She talked about Caroline and how much happier she seemed now that she and Stefan were together. She talked about her job as a waitress and the guys that were constantly hitting on her. She even smirked, imagining Elijah and her dad together, getting pissed off at the idea of someone else touching their girl. She even apologized to Elijah for sleeping with his brother, even though she must have done it at least forty different times. She'd been there for almost twenty minutes and was talking about how much she hated her Sociology professor when it happened.

_See what I'm trying to say is:_

_You make things better_

_And no matter what the day is,_

_With you here it's better_

"Yeah, I heard he's a real jerk."

Elena whipped her head around, effectively embarrassed at being caught. The blush grew deeper as she saw just how attractive he was. He was dressed in a business suit, his dark black hair neatly brushed back and his blue eyes glistening with a sort of mischievousness.

"Oh, um… do you go to school here?" She stuttered. She highly doubted it. He looked to be in his late twenties, maybe even a bit older. Besides, not many college guys wore incredibly expensive suits.

"No, I, uh, actually got my degree from NYU two years ago," he replied, his own face turning a bit pink in shame. "I just have a few friends that attend…"

"Oh…" They both stared ahead, equally uncomfortable. Elena was shocked by his audacity to interrupt a girl who was talking to dead relatives.

"I'm in a blunt mood, so I'm just going to shoot straight," he began after a few moments, clearing his throat. "I was over there, staring at my parents' graves and I saw you and… I'm now mentally slapping myself because I'm trying and failing to pick up a woman in a graveyard… I am failing, aren't I?" His eyes sparkled with a little bit of hope.

"You're failing," Elena smiled, but laughed at his uneasy expression. The silence and the fact that he'd lost his parents too compelled her to bite. "Why the hell did you think it was okay to hit on a girl in a graveyard?"

"Because I have this horrible trait of doing whatever I want, whenever I want. That whole life is short, eat dessert first complex. A common symptom of losing your parents too young."

"So, I'm your dessert?" At this point, she wasn't uncomfortable any longer, but just simply longed for the blush on his cheeks again.

He paused, the red she desired flooding his face. His mouth dropped open, incoherent noises coming out in an attempt to correct her but she just laughed.

It was the laugh that had shaken Elena. The amount of genuine laughs she'd had in the past few months were few and far between. So the fact that a stunning man trying to hit on her in the cemetery was causing her to crack up had been the breaking point. The point that made "just that odd man in the cemetery" into someone she sincerely wanted to know.

She kneeled down to grab her satchel from the ground and began to dig around in it, producing what she wanted: a scrap of paper and pen. As she scribbled down the numbers, she could practically feel the intense confusion in her peripheral. She signed it simply: Elena.

She dangled the card in front of him flirtatiously until he cautiously grabbed it, still a bit shocked. But he found his composure and examined the card.

He smirked. "Elena," he spoke slowly, almost in a drawl. "I'm-"

"No thank you," she replied quickly, interrupting him.

"No thank you?" He cocked his head in confusion.

"I don't want to know your name… yet. I just want you to call me." Elena winked and then walked past him back towards her car, making sure to brush her shoulder against his own.

Elena didn't turn back. She just kept walking forward, grinning as she imagined what his face must have looked like. Once she got in the car, she typed a quick text to Caroline, telling her she had big news, and then started the engine. Elena rested her head back on her seat, unable to keep the smile off her face. She wasn't sure she would be able to explain what had just happened, but all she knew was that she felt… better.

* * *

><p>"Alright, but seriously, I have to fucking go," Elena whined mockingly, laughing at the puppy-dog face Caroline was giving her.<p>

"Ugh, fine, party pooper," Caroline sighed, finally conceding she couldn't force her friend to stay for one more cup. "But I swear, if he calls, and you don't tell me…"

"I'll call you five seconds after I get off the phone with him," Elena replied, kissing her best friend on the cheek. "Bye, love you Care."

"Love you too, Elz."

Elena walked out of the coffee shop and down the street towards where her car was parked. She picked up her phone and cursed, realizing she'd missed a call from a number she didn't know. She must have gotten distracted by Caroline for a minute too long. The person hadn't left a message so she rapidly hit redial and prayed that she hadn't missed her only chance. She began to smile, wondering if she was just overreacting over a call from her dentist or someone equally as mundane when she was cut off by a smooth male voice… his voicemail.

"Shit," she cursed. Elena realized she had no clue what to say. She'd sounded so clever in the cemetery, but she knew if she waited for the beep all that would come out were "umms" and stutters. She practically dropped her phone trying to press the end button. But the second she did hang up, she regretted it.

Yep, she'd officially done it. She'd gone back to the phase in her life where she was too nervous to flirt with a guy. She took a deep breath and decided to continue her walk to the car. Maybe after she got home and relaxed, she could try to call him back. But before she reached the car door, her phone started to go off again.

"Hello?"

"Sorry about that. I went out for a second to scan some documents."

"Oh." Elena wanted to smack herself in the face. She felt like she was in high school again, talking to her crush on the phone. Well, one half of that was true.

Thankfully, he didn't skip a beat. "So now can I tell you my name?"

Elena laughed, some of her tension faded away at his charming tone. "Actually, you don't need to."

"No?" he replied, confused.

"Your voicemail already told me."

"Ahh, I see." She heard him adjust his position over the phone, as though he were reclining in his chair and getting comfortable. "So, Elena..."

"So," Elena smirked. "Damon…"

_Our love has changed_

_It's not the same_

_And the only way to say it_

_Is say it .. it's better_

* * *

><p><strong>I never said the italics were flashBACKS ;)<strong>_  
><em>


	8. Debriefing Chapter

**Debriefing Chapter:**

Wow. So the responses for this chapter were… surprising. I hope this update will help you understand more of the details because you all had a lot of questions.

Here's the most basic way I can explain the plot line:

The man Elena was dating who went missing and was inevitably shot was Elijah. Basically every time she was referring to a "he" or "her boyfriend" it was Elijah if it was in regular font (aka: not italics). Stefan is Elijah's brother, not Damon's. Elena met Damon for the first time, on WA's timeline, in the cemetery in Chapter 7. Any other time Damon is referenced, it is in the future, or after Elijah was killed and she hooked up with Stefan.

So first things first, _the stories in italics were not flashbacks. _I'm aware that typically italics indicate something that happened in the past, but in this fic, they were glimpses into the future. More specifically, they were peeks into Damon and Elena's future. This allowed this story to feel like a D/E romance because without those scenes, you probably would have felt cheated (AN: according to the reviews, some of you already did so this is a tad awkward). I typically just started telling these stories in the middle of a chapter, manipulating the sentences beforehand so you thought I was leading into them. For example, I referenced the fact that Elena had learned early on that her neighbors had loud sex, and then jumped into the Damon/Elena story. But this was actually just a random drabble in the future _related_ to the noisy neighbors.

Secondly, _Damon's name is never mentioned outside of the italics. _In other words, I never lied. I'm sure some of you all noticed because continuing to refer to Elijah as "him" or "he" started to become incredibly awkward, but it had to be done. This point is just made so that you understand _I never lied to you._ I was actually fairly concerned that you guys would pick up on it and realize, but you all automatically assumed that it was Damon, which was good because the story was relying on that form of deceit.

There were multiple uses of these sorts of tricks in the story. For example, you knew that Damon met Elena while she was in school (talking to the graves about her teachers), but in this story, Elena went to school twice. Elena's parents being dead also helped, as when she was at the graveyard, you assumed that she was only speaking to her parents. Having Stefan as the brother was a HUGE one. Chapter 5 definitely incorporated these deceits. When Damon convinced Elena to ditch on their double date with Caroline, the "other guy" was Stefan. This also explains why Damon was especially bitter about Elena talking to her ex (Stefan) and brought up the concept of telling "his girlfriend" (Caroline). "The anniversary" was Elijah's, not her parents.

So, I guess this is the part where I express my emotions to your reactions. I came up with this storyline (a mystery in which the readers believe that Damon's the one who died when in fact she hasn't even begun her journey with him) while writing S&S and was thrilled about it. I could barely contain myself enough to finish S&S because I so desperately wanted to start this one. I considered just a one-shot, but I wanted to stretch out the suspense. I actually was planning on making it much longer, but you guys were practically violent over the minor amount of Stefan/Elena I had in this story. :p I realized if I announced that "Elena's boyfriend" was dead and tried to introduce any more Stelena into the story, you would have stopped reading. And I wanted to make sure you guys got to the ending, because I thought the ending was going to save it.

I knew there would be some confusion. I'm sorry if you guys feel as if you were cheated. But if you look at it from my perspective, I think it's a really great journey for Damon and Elena. Elijah was not her true love. **Damon is.** I didn't focus on Elena and Elijah because I knew that they weren't the love story. I included those Delena stories so you know that Elena has that to look forward to, if that makes sense. At the end of Chapter 7, she hadn't experienced Damon taking her to the abandoned mansion, the dance club, the library, etc. Damon is going to provide her with tuition money so she doesn't have to struggle to take her classes and _he's going to love her_. I personally think Elena needed to go through her journey of losing Elijah and dealing with that grief and becoming stronger before she could truly invest herself in a relationship with Damon.

I don't know. I kind of see it like how Damon and Elena worked out in the finale. Was it horribly tragic that Elena didn't choose him in the end? Yes. But it was practically proven that Damon and Elena are meant to be (she met him first, Stefan doesn't keep her safe, etc.) But now, Elena's going to go through her transition and learn to become a vampire next season, along with remembering the times Damon compelled her to forget. We'll get that journey of her dealing with that UST and all that will change now that she's a vampire. I know this is semi-rambling, but Elena had to go through this journey in this story and _now _she's with Damon. _Now_ she gets that epic love story with him. That's why you shouldn't feel cheated.

Alright, well I do hope this helped. Again, I apologize for those of you who expected something more or different or just plain hated it. I obviously am sad that I disappointed you all and hope that you will still continue to read my stories. Speaking of which, I have a new one coming up in about two weeks that I think you guys will enjoy. Unfortunately, I cannot post it next Sunday because that's the day I graduate high school, but it should be up by Memorial Day weekend.

Please feel free to leave a review letting me know if this debriefing chapter helped you to clarify some things or changed your reactions. If you private message me, I'd be happy to answer more questions for you. I love you all and hope you all still love me.

_P.S. If I could do a review of the week, it would be for the fabulous user FudgeCakes. I know you've messaged me on my tumblr before, but honestly you are one of the sweetest and kindest people I've encountered on the internet. I hate that I can never message you back properly But I did want to say thank you for your incredibly inspiring words_


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